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Listing puns for Bob



1. A South American element in 'The Princess Bride'? Incan-ceivable! 2.5 stars
2. The forest had burned down, but now it's back by poplar demand. 3.2 stars
3. A fat pirate is a vast matey. 3.0 stars
4. The best street for locating a gas station is Fillmore Avenue. 3.0 stars
5. Old carpenters never die, they just lumber around. 3.2 stars
6. A high-class Lakota cook is a Sioux chef. 3.0 stars
7. He thinks octopi are creepy, and he makes no bones about it. 2.7 stars
8. When video arcades switched to a system of tokens, there was no quarter asked or given. 3.0 stars
9. To make sure cargo trucks aren't too heavy, police operate on the principle that where there's a wheel there's a weigh. 3.2 stars
10. The almanac of famous ghosts is a real Boos Who. 3.2 stars
11. Never make fun of a Scotsman's traditional garb. You could get kilt that way. 3.7 stars
12. I only listen to waltzes 3/4 of the time. 3.6 stars
13. Coin counterfeiting is a bad mintin' racket. 3.5 stars
14. One person can keep a fishing line clear, but it takes two to tangle. 3.5 stars
15. Dissatisfied with the lack of thoroughness in the demolition of the old tavern, he got into the bulldozer himself and razed the bar to a new level. 3.6 stars
16. I saw gasoline selling for one dollar a gallon, but then I saw that March had just ended. It was an April fuel's joke. 2.9 stars
17. I once thought about cloning a new, more efficient brain, but then I realized that I was getting a head of myself. 3.7 stars
18. We can only have spring break in March, because the last time it happened in February, it took until August to get it fixed. 1.9 stars
19. If you wear a blindfold at the shooting range, you won't know what you're missing. 3.4 stars
20. I'd really be tempted to take these trousers out back and set them on fire, but I've never been one for burning my britches. 3.0 stars
21. Many people think that Edgar Allan Poe was a raven madman. 3.5 stars
22. 'Sweeney Todd' is a good source of sheer terror. 2.9 stars
23. There's a new song out to benefit underprivileged Dervishes. It's called 'We are the Whirled.' 3.4 stars
24. Ponytails are coiffe drops. 2.7 stars
25. When the sailor failed to report for duty, he really missed the boat. 3.0 stars
26. Romance isn't a science - it's a heart. 1.9 stars
27. If jokes could be owned like land, then no good pun would go undeeded. 2.3 stars
28. The ancient Japanese leader lost his legs in a logging accident, and became a sawed-off Shogun. 3.2 stars
29. Labor Day is a good time to stop and reflect on the august events of the preceding month. 1.6 stars
30. I noticed that the sun was out, and nobody had bothered to relight it. 3.1 stars
31. I used to think I'd hate Italian food, but I finally decided to give pizza a chance. 2.3 stars
32. A lupine dancer is a steppin' wolf. 2.8 stars
33. The soap-eating cult was swallowing lyes in search of the truth. 2.6 stars
34. STDs are the result of practicing license without a medicine. 2.5 stars
35. When she made Mario Puzo's books required reading for her class, she made him an author they couldn't refuse. 3.2 stars
36. I once knew a woman who turned into a deer when the moon was full. She was a real weredoe. 3.4 stars
37. When traveling between Russia and Alaska, you first must get your Bering Strait. 3.6 stars
38. I used to be able to clap with just one hand. But that was Zen, this is Tao. 2.9 stars
39. When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour. 3.3 stars
40. A blood-sucking arachnid from the moon would be a Luna tick. 3.5 stars
41. The dervish had so much endurance, he set a new whirled record. 3.1 stars
42. George Westinghouse was a refrigerator magnate. 2.9 stars