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Listing puns for Joseph Leff



1. Merchants are sung by a mermaid choir. 1.7 stars
2. Feather dusters are used to clean parakeets. 1.7 stars
3. A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat. 3.1 stars
4. The life of a lens maker is a real grind. 3.0 stars
5. Circus dogs fly through the air with the greatest of fleas. 2.7 stars
6. A croquette is a flirtatious female frog. 2.8 stars
7. A chiropractor is a lumbar jack. 3.5 stars
8. Taxidermy is a job for stuffy people. 3.9 stars
9. A university is a city in outer space. 2.8 stars
10. Bringing home very little net pay is the sign of a good trapeze acrobat. 2.5 stars
11. Watchdogs are covered with ticks. 2.9 stars
12. Shirts are pressed for cash. 3.0 stars
13. A skunk breeder is a person of phew words. 3.6 stars
14. A harbor master is in charge of berth control. 3.4 stars
15. A cowbell is what you call a lovely Southern cow. 2.5 stars
16. When the dog swallowed a bell, his bark began pealing. 1.9 stars
17. Pay for irony is wry bread. 1.9 stars
18. Notary means insufficiently ventilated. 1.6 stars
19. A storyteller is a gossipy bank employee. 2.4 stars
20. The Ferris wheel inventor is the father of the ride. 1.8 stars
21. A seal has a ball at the circus. 2.7 stars
22. Oncology is the study of car horns. 1.7 stars
23. Lungs are a pair of windbags. 2.0 stars
24. Seamstress is caused by wearing tight clothing. 3.3 stars
25. An angry skunk reeks his vengeance. 3.5 stars
26. A red blood count is a communist vampire. 2.7 stars
27. Santa came down with the flue. 2.8 stars
28. Australian beer-brewers use kangaroo hops. 2.8 stars
29. Deciding what Christmas gifts to give makes one present tense. 3.0 stars
30. A contest between church choirs is the battle of the choral see. 2.3 stars
31. Driving while using a cell phone is veer-inspiring. 1.5 stars
32. Sainthood is a gangster who truly repented. 2.3 stars
33. An umbilical cord is a navel vessel. 3.2 stars
34. A golf course is a foreground. 2.6 stars
35. A dermatologist is a flesh man. 1.6 stars
36. Bookkeepers are problems for libraries. 3.1 stars
37. Labyrinths are amazing. 3.3 stars
38. Marie was curious about radium. 1.8 stars
39. Religious vultures prey for their food. 3.4 stars
40. High school grammar books are parse for the course. 2.1 stars
41. A butter is an angry goat. 2.5 stars
42. Bring about is what a boxing promoter does. 2.4 stars
43. Spoilsport is the harbor where booty is shipped in. 2.0 stars
44. A funny criminal is a silicon. 3.1 stars
45. A novice skier often jumps to contusions. 3.1 stars
46. Crosswords are what you hear when you distract someone working on a puzzle. 3.4 stars
47. A taxidermist specializes in skin for cabs. 1.7 stars
48. Attire goes on a wheel. 2.7 stars
49. When a female sheep turns around and goes the other way it makes a ewe turn. 3.9 stars
50. A synthesis is an essay about transgressions. 1.8 stars
51. Valentine's Day is pure cupidity. 2.3 stars
52. A TV repairman's job is to get set to work. 2.0 stars
53. To vulcanize is to become like Spock. 1.9 stars
54. You use a lumberjack when your tree is flat. 2.7 stars
55. Tire stores are highway rubbery. 3.0 stars
56. When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel. 2.7 stars
57. Some Missouri home designers are Ozark-itects. 1.9 stars
58. A locksmith is a key employee. 3.8 stars
59. Labor contracts come just before childbirth. 2.6 stars
60. A sewer is a tailor. 1.5 stars
61. Lamp factories have light workloads. 3.6 stars
62. CPR is a near-breath experience. 3.0 stars
63. Accountant is a royal insect. 2.4 stars
64. A surgeon's comments are incisive remarks. 3.3 stars
65. Iamb a poet. 2.5 stars
66. Carrot is auto rust. 1.6 stars
67. Vampires use must use mouthwash because they have bat breath. 2.7 stars
68. Resale means to go yachting again. 1.9 stars
69. The purpose of the IT Service Department is to be a customer-server. 2.0 stars
70. Overworked physicists put too many ions in the fire. 3.3 stars
71. 'We've got the best marriage' is a hitching boast. 1.9 stars
72. Seesaw is how you find a woodcutter. 1.8 stars
73. Doctors send patients to pool halls to find remarkable cuers. 2.3 stars
74. A sports coat worn on a hike is a trailblazer. 3.8 stars
75. Sailing is like oil drilling because they're both crewed businesses. 3.0 stars
76. Ash Wednesday follows Volcanic Tuesday. 2.8 stars
77. A Valentine's Day card is a hearty note. 2.6 stars
78. Art theft is a haul of frames. 3.1 stars
79. Eating oysters can help you increase your mussel tone. 3.5 stars
80. A hurricane is a stick used to encourage speed. 2.7 stars
81. A ship's captain is a sails manager. 3.4 stars
82. Parking - an average sovereign. 2.3 stars
83. The third degree is a diploma for successful criminals. 2.9 stars
84. An egg pulls a cart with a yolk. 2.4 stars
85. A yak is the star of an animal talk show. 3.0 stars
86. A mosquito is the oldest known skin-diver. 3.0 stars
87. The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite. 3.5 stars
88. An avionics warning is a flier alarm. 2.7 stars
89. Digest is morbid humor. 1.8 stars
90. An embrace at a nudist colony is a bare hug. 3.4 stars
91. An instructor at an ice cream parlor is a sundae school teacher. 3.6 stars
92. People who listen to long political speeches are bulldozers. 3.3 stars
93. When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely, he was so sad he was disheartened. 2.8 stars
94. A weeknight is a tiny nobleman. 2.8 stars
95. Some doting parents are son worshipers. 2.8 stars
96. A summer is a mathematician. 2.5 stars
97. When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed. 2.8 stars
98. When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome. 3.2 stars
99. A cannonball is a party for artillerymen. 3.2 stars
100. The land where movies are made is called reel estate. 3.1 stars
101. Surprises is the knight in charge of awards. 2.3 stars
102. 'Because' is a word to the whys. 3.6 stars
103. A no-fly zone prohibits zippers. 3.4 stars
104. Rental agents offer quarters for dollars. 3.5 stars
105. A harp that was shaved is a bare-faced lyre. 2.9 stars
106. A shotgun is an exhausted rifle. 2.6 stars
107. Historians have extra-century perception. 3.7 stars
108. Was Noel Coward afraid of traditional Christmas music? 2.9 stars
109. Cows make noise only when they're in the mood. 3.2 stars
110. Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'. 3.2 stars
111. The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind. 3.3 stars
112. When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted. 3.8 stars
113. A glide-path is a soar spot. 3.0 stars
114. A funeral ship is a sea hearse. 3.1 stars
115. The word 'ovine' means just like ewe. 2.9 stars
116. People who teach drivers' education are roads scholars. 3.3 stars
117. With Iowa crows swearing all over the places, the result was statewide caw cusses. 3.3 stars
118. The hoarfrost that forms on a daycare center's windows is called nursery rime. 3.0 stars
119. Dental care in Panama is called a route canal. 3.4 stars
120. The people who are predicting when all time will halt are known as endochronologists. 3.0 stars
121. The chiropractic author wrote a spinal column. 3.1 stars
122. When the church relocated it had an organ transplant. 3.6 stars
123. The place to trade dresses is called a frock exchange. 2.7 stars
124. A crow is a four-letter bird. 2.5 stars
125. Mathematicians are sum worshippers. 3.1 stars
126. A trick-or-treat route is a fright path. 2.3 stars
127. The fastest, most efficient way to make Halloween costumes is mask production. 3.0 stars
128. The cheap hotel was really a violin. 1.7 stars
129. Optometrists live long because they dilate. 3.7 stars