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Listing puns for RJS



1. In the Episcopalian church, erring canons cannot be defrocked - they can only be fired. 2.2 stars
2. The overweight painter could not lose weight despite years of exposure to thinners. 3.4 stars
3. I wanted to buy my wife some fancy soap, but she would not have a bar of it. 1.8 stars
4. On my chicken farm, I own the birds scratching around on the ground in the barn, but I am paying off the ones sitting on the roosts - they are on higher perches. 2.2 stars
5. I tried hard to get into vexillology, but, in the end, had to flag it away. 2.2 stars
6. Which illness are witches most prone to? Crone's disease. 2.5 stars
7. The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cel. 2.7 stars
8. How can you get a drywall plasterer to finish the job? They barely start and then they stop. 2.0 stars
9. The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave his awl. 4.1 stars
10. The most popular operation for orthopaedic surgeons is upper-leg surgery: very hip. 3.1 stars
11. I was caught studying the periodic table in English class. It was an elementary mistake. 3.1 stars
12. I was in the linen trade, but gave it up. Too much toile. 2.7 stars
13. I got a nasty electric shock the other day, but I wasn't phased. 3.1 stars
14. I pricked my finger badly while trying to find a needle in my wife's sewing box. It was a crewel turn of events. 3.0 stars
15. Having my hair cut for free is the only fringe benefit I receive. 2.9 stars
16. I tried to get friendly with the archer's daughter, butt after he threatened to clout and nock me about, I decided to bow out. 2.4 stars
17. I saw a female deer in my rear-vision mirror. It was case of hind-sight. 2.9 stars
18. I took up teaching fencing as I wanted my students to get the point. 3.3 stars
19. During his lifetime, the composer Bach was a noted success. 3.2 stars
20. John Deere has just released its most powerful tractor yet. It is the torque of the town. 3.3 stars
21. My wife uses a kitchen implement to shred garlic and parmesan cheese, which I hate. It really is the grater of two evils. 3.3 stars