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Listing puns for Adele



1. 'There is no present like the thyme,' said the cook. 2.0 stars
2. A monster who likes to ring doorbells is a knock less monster. 3.4 stars
3. An employee got locked in a freezer at the ice cream factory and ended up getting spumonia. 2.4 stars
4. I applied for a position at the hair-replacement company because I heard there was growth potential. 3.2 stars
5. Is a group of fingerprints considered to be a whorl pool? 3.0 stars
6. The constables held the boat thief at bay. 3.2 stars
7. If you make candles you are going to need a lot of paraffin-alia. 3.1 stars
8. I got a job with a company that manufactures trampolines. Now I'll have something to fall back on. 3.1 stars
9. My dog swallowed my engagement ring. I ended up with a diamond in the ruff. 3.6 stars
10. 'I got lost in the streets of Paris,' he said ruefully. 3.0 stars
11. What do you call a musician who steals sheet music? A clef-to maniac. 3.5 stars
12. I thought I packed a memory card for my camera, but I forgot it. 3.0 stars
13. The geologist went to the doctor because he had a loss of apatite. 2.9 stars
14. The exhibitionist went to the store because he heard they were having a flash sale. 2.6 stars
15. When my husband asked me if I wanted a new alarm clock I said I was set. 2.9 stars
16. A plastic surgeon who specializes in breast implants is a front end manager. 2.4 stars
17. A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe. 3.2 stars
18. Mischievous lambs post their videos on Ewe Tube. 3.5 stars
19. My father's father wanted to know if he could stay with the company in spite of the many changes. They ended up grandfathering him in. 2.7 stars
20. People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box. 3.9 stars
21. When the shoe store owner discovered that someone had broken into his store, the police pumped him for information. 2.5 stars
22. Philosophers are very Hume-orous people. 2.6 stars
23. 'I agree with you wholeheartedly,' said the artichoke grower. 2.8 stars
24. When I found out that the fire department was charging $75.00 per table for their craft fair I told them they could go to blazes. 2.6 stars
25. "Have some chocolate covered cherries," she said cordially. 3.3 stars
26. A reciprocating saw is a saw that gets borrowed and returned among neighbors. 2.7 stars
27. A swan's favorite salad is Cobb salad. 3.0 stars
28. The drug dealer added sugar to his marijuana to sweeten the pot. 3.6 stars
29. I was going to buy some loose tea, but the price was too steep. 3.4 stars
30. I crossed a cell phone with a skunk, and now the service stinks. 3.3 stars
31. When my father took the whole bannister down including the newel, he deleted the post. 2.6 stars
32. There was a report of shots fired in a local bar. The police don't know what triggered the commotion. 3.3 stars
33. Making up puns about the finest soil is the loess form of humor. 3.0 stars
34. A relief map shows where the restrooms are. 4.0 stars
35. I didn't have the faintest idea as to why I passed out. 3.3 stars
36. My brother told me that serpentine is what you use to get paint off a boa constrictor. 3.8 stars
37. When I asked the man how he became a ditch-digger, he said he just fell into it. 3.8 stars
38. A lawyer-turned-cook is a sue chef. 3.5 stars
39. The inventor of the incubator was the first hatch-it man. 3.5 stars
40. 'I am presently employed', said the gift wrapper. 3.5 stars
41. My dog was mustard-colored. That made him a Gulden Retriever. 3.0 stars
42. When I was watching the news, I saw a segment on earthworms. 2.2 stars
43. I got my job at the dentist's office by word of mouth. 3.3 stars
44. The hypnotist went out of business because he ran out of suggestions. 2.6 stars
45. The river crested when a factory spilled toothpaste into it. 2.8 stars
46. The man was always leaving himself voicemail messages. He was very self-sendered. 2.9 stars
47. A lawyer who likes to go fishing is an attorney-at-lure. 2.2 stars
48. I was going to have my hernia operation last June, but the surgeon was on summer hiatus. 2.3 stars
49. My friend said that if Watergate had happened in Scotland they would've had Scotch tape. 2.1 stars
50. The man leaned on the printer cartridge because he wanted to tone up his abs. 2.1 stars
51. Zookeepers spot clean their leopards. 2.8 stars
52. The dentist put braces on his patient as a stop-gap measure. 3.3 stars
53. The electrician got his supplies at the outlet store. 3.5 stars
54. Business at the candle factory tapered off after the holidays. 3.3 stars
55. The barber opened up a shavings account. 3.2 stars
56. 'I missed the card game,' he said wistfully. 2.5 stars
57. I dropped a tub of margarine in the kitchen and ended up with a Parkay floor. 3.3 stars
58. Why did the termites eat the wooden barrel? To stave off hunger. 2.9 stars
59. They served strip steaks and rice pilaf at the topless bar. 2.7 stars
60. There was a hiring freeze at the ice-skating rink. 2.6 stars
61. Police found a criminal shot to death with exit wounds but no entry wounds. It was an inside job. 3.5 stars
62. When the waiter told me they were out of corn I said, 'That really shucks.' 2.8 stars
63. I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose. 3.6 stars
64. I couldn't decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over. 3.0 stars
65. A flat rate is the monthly rent for an apartment. 2.8 stars
66. 'Come see my fishpond', she said coyly. 3.1 stars
67. A range-finder is a person who goes shopping for a new stove. 2.7 stars
68. John Deere had a lot of detractors when he announced his invention. 2.9 stars
69. A man brought his retriever to the vet for some tests and had to pay a lab fee. 3.5 stars
70. Superfluous refers to a bad case of the flu. 2.6 stars
71. A roofer got arrested recently. He flashed a chimney. 2.9 stars
72. Greeks can't stay out late because they have a Corfu. 2.7 stars