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Listing puns for Adele



1. What do you call it when a dog eats your Birkenstocks? Sandal-ism. 2.2 stars
2. 'There is no present like the thyme,' said the cook. 2.0 stars
3. A monster who likes to ring doorbells is a knock less monster. 3.4 stars
4. An employee got locked in a freezer at the ice cream factory and ended up getting spumonia. 2.4 stars
5. I applied for a position at the hair-replacement company because I heard there was growth potential. 3.2 stars
6. Is a group of fingerprints considered to be a whorl pool? 3.0 stars
7. The constables held the boat thief at bay. 3.2 stars
8. If you make candles you are going to need a lot of paraffin-alia. 3.1 stars
9. I got a job with a company that manufactures trampolines. Now I'll have something to fall back on. 3.1 stars
10. My dog swallowed my engagement ring. I ended up with a diamond in the ruff. 3.6 stars
11. 'I got lost in the streets of Paris,' he said ruefully. 3.0 stars
12. What do you call a musician who steals sheet music? A clef-to maniac. 3.5 stars
13. I thought I packed a memory card for my camera, but I forgot it. 3.0 stars
14. The geologist went to the doctor because he had a loss of apatite. 2.9 stars
15. The exhibitionist went to the store because he heard they were having a flash sale. 2.6 stars
16. When my husband asked me if I wanted a new alarm clock I said I was set. 2.9 stars
17. A plastic surgeon who specializes in breast implants is a front end manager. 2.4 stars
18. A chicken farmer's favorite car is a coupe. 3.2 stars
19. Mischievous lambs post their videos on Ewe Tube. 3.5 stars
20. My father's father wanted to know if he could stay with the company in spite of the many changes. They ended up grandfathering him in. 2.7 stars
21. People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box. 3.9 stars
22. When the shoe store owner discovered that someone had broken into his store, the police pumped him for information. 2.5 stars
23. Philosophers are very Hume-orous people. 2.6 stars
24. 'I agree with you wholeheartedly,' said the artichoke grower. 2.8 stars
25. When I found out that the fire department was charging $75.00 per table for their craft fair I told them they could go to blazes. 2.6 stars
26. "Have some chocolate covered cherries," she said cordially. 3.3 stars
27. A reciprocating saw is a saw that gets borrowed and returned among neighbors. 2.7 stars
28. A swan's favorite salad is Cobb salad. 3.0 stars
29. The drug dealer added sugar to his marijuana to sweeten the pot. 3.6 stars
30. I was going to buy some loose tea, but the price was too steep. 3.4 stars
31. I crossed a cell phone with a skunk, and now the service stinks. 3.3 stars
32. When my father took the whole bannister down including the newel, he deleted the post. 2.6 stars
33. There was a report of shots fired in a local bar. The police don't know what triggered the commotion. 3.2 stars
34. Making up puns about the finest soil is the loess form of humor. 3.0 stars
35. A relief map shows where the restrooms are. 4.0 stars
36. I didn't have the faintest idea as to why I passed out. 3.3 stars
37. My brother told me that serpentine is what you use to get paint off a boa constrictor. 3.8 stars
38. When I asked the man how he became a ditch-digger, he said he just fell into it. 3.8 stars
39. A lawyer-turned-cook is a sue chef. 3.5 stars
40. The inventor of the incubator was the first hatch-it man. 3.5 stars
41. 'I am presently employed', said the gift wrapper. 3.5 stars
42. My dog was mustard-colored. That made him a Gulden Retriever. 3.0 stars
43. When I was watching the news, I saw a segment on earthworms. 2.2 stars
44. I got my job at the dentist's office by word of mouth. 3.3 stars
45. The hypnotist went out of business because he ran out of suggestions. 2.6 stars
46. The river crested when a factory spilled toothpaste into it. 2.8 stars
47. The man was always leaving himself voicemail messages. He was very self-sendered. 2.9 stars
48. A lawyer who likes to go fishing is an attorney-at-lure. 2.2 stars
49. I was going to have my hernia operation last June, but the surgeon was on summer hiatus. 2.3 stars
50. My friend said that if Watergate had happened in Scotland they would've had Scotch tape. 2.1 stars
51. The man leaned on the printer cartridge because he wanted to tone up his abs. 2.2 stars
52. Zookeepers spot clean their leopards. 2.8 stars
53. The dentist put braces on his patient as a stop-gap measure. 3.3 stars
54. The electrician got his supplies at the outlet store. 3.5 stars
55. Business at the candle factory tapered off after the holidays. 3.3 stars
56. The barber opened up a shavings account. 3.2 stars
57. 'I missed the card game,' he said wistfully. 2.5 stars
58. I dropped a tub of margarine in the kitchen and ended up with a Parkay floor. 3.3 stars
59. Why did the termites eat the wooden barrel? To stave off hunger. 2.9 stars
60. They served strip steaks and rice pilaf at the topless bar. 2.7 stars
61. There was a hiring freeze at the ice-skating rink. 2.6 stars
62. Police found a criminal shot to death with exit wounds but no entry wounds. It was an inside job. 3.5 stars
63. When the waiter told me they were out of corn I said, 'That really shucks.' 2.8 stars
64. I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose. 3.6 stars
65. I couldn't decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over. 3.0 stars
66. A flat rate is the monthly rent for an apartment. 2.8 stars
67. 'Come see my fishpond', she said coyly. 3.1 stars
68. A range-finder is a person who goes shopping for a new stove. 2.7 stars
69. John Deere had a lot of detractors when he announced his invention. 2.9 stars
70. A man brought his retriever to the vet for some tests and had to pay a lab fee. 3.5 stars
71. Superfluous refers to a bad case of the flu. 2.6 stars
72. A roofer got arrested recently. He flashed a chimney. 2.9 stars
73. Greeks can't stay out late because they have a Corfu. 2.7 stars