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Listing puns for Bob Greenwade



1. My friend had a start at writing some moving poetry, but gave up when he couldn't find a good rhyme for 'U-Haul.' 2.6 stars
2. As I think you know, Pi is an irrational number. So far, all efforts to calm it down have failed. 2.8 stars
3. K-pop is Seoul music. 2.8 stars
4. I'm going to recolor this fabric, or dye trying! 3.7 stars
5. The time for submitted puns starting with the letter 'N' just expired. It's now 'O' pun season. 3.7 stars
6. The store sold me cut-rate food for my horse at an exorbitant price, then had the nerve to send me a 'customer service' survey. I didn't hesitate to give them the feed back. 3.6 stars
7. Odorless perfumes are non-scents. 4.0 stars
8. That arsonist destroyed all my scissors. Shear torcher! 3.4 stars
9. That butane lighter may be stubborn, but it's no match for me! 3.7 stars
10. The decision to legalize marijuana was made by a high government official. 4.0 stars
11. The King of satyrs tried his hand at directing a cooking show on TV, but only received pan reviews. 1.9 stars
12. To help me lose weight, my doctor recommends a glutton-free diet. 3.8 stars
13. Nobody wants to meditate with me! I guess my 'om' is just getting too much resistance. 2.4 stars
14. Two dead bodies were found inside a trunk this morning. Police are seeking the public's help, particularly in locating the rest of the elephant. 2.7 stars
15. When she went into labor, her husband started having a midwife crisis. 3.0 stars
16. The cat climbed to the highest spot in the discotheque, but then couldn't get down. 2.0 stars
17. I just can't seem to finish this woodworking project, but it's not for lacquer trying. 3.3 stars
18. When the Human Torch lost his superpowers, he was certainly put out. 2.9 stars
19. We can all praise Tom Hiddleston for his Loki performance. 2.4 stars
20. I dropped a potato into my paper shredder, and that really made a hash of things. 2.6 stars
21. We have a giant squid to catch, so let's get kraken! 3.6 stars
22. In the mud room was a shoe rack shaped like a dinner fork, with a sign over it: 'These are the tines that dry men's soles.' 3.2 stars
23. I've tried birling. It's as easy as falling off a log. 2.8 stars
24. The Surgeon General is a doc without a peer. 1.6 stars
25. If you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction. 2.6 stars
26. The Black Death! Avoid it like the plague! 3.0 stars
27. She was always afraid of change, and for that reason, when using cash, she always paid the exact amount she owed. 2.7 stars
28. Exchanging salt-water recipes is a case of the brined leading the brined. 2.5 stars
29. Moonlighting at stand-up comedy, the baker was known for his rye humor. 3.3 stars
30. Two pet owners got together for a weekly public discussion on the Internet. They called it their Pawed Cast. 3.2 stars
31. The two shoemakers got married because they were sole mates. 3.5 stars
32. 2017 would have been a great year to open up a unisex haircut place and call it 'Totally Clips'. 3.3 stars
33. I used to not like Newtons, but now they're my favorite snack. Go fig. 3.3 stars
34. Puns were actually invented in the southern reaches of Ukraine. That's why they call it Crimean punnishment. 2.8 stars
35. A quarter-acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people, but to me it's a lot. 3.9 stars
36. For summer vacation, I decided to go to north-eastern Spain and Basque in the sunshine. 3.3 stars
37. A sleeping bag is a nap sack. 3.3 stars
38. The deer grabbed the gun and gave the hunter a taste of his own venison. 2.8 stars
39. The inventor of pantyhose really left us quite a legacy. 3.3 stars
40. If you want to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder, just install a little climb-it control. 3.0 stars
41. I've heard about the rumors that I keep vats of acid at my home, but they're lyes -- all lyes! 3.3 stars
42. Whoever served up the wine at that banquet did a pour job. 3.6 stars
43. The political analysts I hear the most from are Don Key and Ella Funt. 2.9 stars
44. I just looked up the word 'apocalypse' in the dictionary. It was quite a revelation. 3.7 stars
45. Ice cold coffee? Cool beans! 3.0 stars
46. It's the barbecue I've always wanted - the grill of my dreams! 2.8 stars
47. Moliere's influence on modern comedy just shows that he was very farce-sighted. 3.3 stars
48. Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written. 3.9 stars
49. I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents. 3.0 stars
50. Bird-dogs are great for music, because they're both woofers and tweeters. 3.1 stars