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Listing puns for Bob Greenwade



1. Two dead bodies were found inside a trunk this morning. Police are seeking the public's help, particularly in locating the rest of the elephant. 2.7 stars
2. When she went into labor, her husband started having a midwife crisis. 3.0 stars
3. The cat climbed to the highest spot in the discotheque, but then couldn't get down. 2.0 stars
4. I just can't seem to finish this woodworking project, but it's not for lacquer trying. 3.3 stars
5. When the Human Torch lost his superpowers, he was certainly put out. 2.9 stars
6. We can all praise Tom Hiddleston for his Loki performance. 2.4 stars
7. I dropped a potato into my paper shredder, and that really made a hash of things. 2.6 stars
8. We have a giant squid to catch, so let's get kraken! 3.6 stars
9. In the mud room was a shoe rack shaped like a dinner fork, with a sign over it: 'These are the tines that dry men's soles.' 3.1 stars
10. I've tried birling. It's as easy as falling off a log. 2.8 stars
11. The Surgeon General is a doc without a peer. 1.6 stars
12. If you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction. 2.7 stars
13. The Black Death! Avoid it like the plague! 3.0 stars
14. She was always afraid of change, and for that reason, when using cash, she always paid the exact amount she owed. 2.8 stars
15. Exchanging salt-water recipes is a case of the brined leading the brined. 2.5 stars
16. Moonlighting at stand-up comedy, the baker was known for his rye humor. 3.3 stars
17. Two pet owners got together for a weekly public discussion on the Internet. They called it their Pawed Cast. 3.2 stars
18. The two shoemakers got married because they were sole mates. 3.5 stars
19. 2017 would have been a great year to open up a unisex haircut place and call it 'Totally Clips'. 3.3 stars
20. I used to not like Newtons, but now they're my favorite snack. Go fig. 3.3 stars
21. Puns were actually invented in the southern reaches of Ukraine. That's why they call it Crimean punnishment. 2.8 stars
22. A quarter-acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people, but to me it's a lot. 3.9 stars
23. For summer vacation, I decided to go to north-eastern Spain and Basque in the sunshine. 3.3 stars
24. A sleeping bag is a nap sack. 3.3 stars
25. The deer grabbed the gun and gave the hunter a taste of his own venison. 2.8 stars
26. The inventor of pantyhose really left us quite a legacy. 3.3 stars
27. If you want to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder, just install a little climb-it control. 3.0 stars
28. I've heard about the rumors that I keep vats of acid at my home, but they're lyes -- all lyes! 3.3 stars
29. Whoever served up the wine at that banquet did a pour job. 3.6 stars
30. The political analysts I hear the most from are Don Key and Ella Funt. 2.9 stars
31. I just looked up the word 'apocalypse' in the dictionary. It was quite a revelation. 3.7 stars
32. Ice cold coffee? Cool beans! 3.0 stars
33. It's the barbecue I've always wanted - the grill of my dreams! 2.8 stars
34. Moliere's influence on modern comedy just shows that he was very farce-sighted. 3.3 stars
35. Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written. 3.9 stars
36. I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents. 3.0 stars
37. Bird-dogs are great for music, because they're both woofers and tweeters. 3.1 stars