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Listing puns for Bob Greenwade



1. We have a giant squid to catch, so let's get kraken! 3.5 stars
2. In the mud room was a shoe rack shaped like a dinner fork, with a sign over it: 'These are the tines that dry men's soles.' 3.1 stars
3. I've tried birling. It's as easy as falling off a log. 2.7 stars
4. The Surgeon General is a doc without a peer. 1.6 stars
5. If you're headed to Siberia, a stopover in Mongolia is a steppe in the right direction. 2.7 stars
6. The Black Death! Avoid it like the plague! 3.0 stars
7. She was always afraid of change, and for that reason, when using cash, she always paid the exact amount she owed. 2.8 stars
8. Exchanging salt-water recipes is a case of the brined leading the brined. 2.5 stars
9. Moonlighting at stand-up comedy, the baker was known for his rye humor. 3.3 stars
10. Two pet owners got together for a weekly public discussion on the Internet. They called it their Pawed Cast. 3.2 stars
11. The two shoemakers got married because they were sole mates. 3.5 stars
12. 2017 would have been a great year to open up a unisex haircut place and call it 'Totally Clips'. 3.3 stars
13. I used to not like Newtons, but now they're my favorite snack. Go fig. 3.3 stars
14. Puns were actually invented in the southern reaches of Ukraine. That's why they call it Crimean punnishment. 2.8 stars
15. A quarter-acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people, but to me it's a lot. 3.9 stars
16. For summer vacation, I decided to go to north-eastern Spain and Basque in the sunshine. 3.3 stars
17. A sleeping bag is a nap sack. 3.3 stars
18. The deer grabbed the gun and gave the hunter a taste of his own venison. 2.8 stars
19. The inventor of pantyhose really left us quite a legacy. 3.3 stars
20. If you want to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder, just install a little climb-it control. 3.0 stars
21. I've heard about the rumors that I keep vats of acid at my home, but they're lyes -- all lyes! 3.3 stars
22. Whoever served up the wine at that banquet did a pour job. 3.6 stars
23. The political analysts I hear the most from are Don Key and Ella Funt. 2.9 stars
24. I just looked up the word 'apocalypse' in the dictionary. It was quite a revelation. 3.7 stars
25. Ice cold coffee? Cool beans! 3.0 stars
26. It's the barbecue I've always wanted - the grill of my dreams! 2.8 stars
27. Moliere's influence on modern comedy just shows that he was very farce-sighted. 3.2 stars
28. Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written. 3.9 stars
29. I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents. 3.0 stars
30. Bird-dogs are great for music, because they're both woofers and tweeters. 3.1 stars