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Listing puns for Hyla Hope Harder



1. In the 17th century people first began eating ice cream. It was also the century where people first heard the music of Handel and Bach. It was truly a suite time. 3.0 stars
2. Why are nudists bad for the stock market? They are associated with bare markets. 3.0 stars
3. Why are so many produce farmers optimists? They take life kumquat may! 3.0 stars
4. The orthopedist went back to school to bone up on new surgical techniques. 3.0 stars
5. Flight attendants never die, they just take off. 3.5 stars
6. What is the noisiest vegetable in the kitchen? Snap peas. 2.1 stars
7. The two largest furniture stores in my hometown are owned by a pretty single lady and a good looking bachelor. They started dating lately. Their customers are hoping for the best. So fa, so good! 2.0 stars
8. What is a florist's favorite vegetable? A cauliflower! 2.7 stars
9. Lingerie salespersons never die, they just slip away. 3.4 stars
10. Pastry chefs never die - they just croissant over to the other side. 3.1 stars
11. Costumes are very important for a ballerina. She keeps them in her special tulle box. 2.0 stars
12. Why is it advisable for law students to study ballet? That way their arguments will always be on point! 2.8 stars
13. My cousin used to work for a map company. The trouble with his job was that there was no latitude for error. 2.9 stars
14. What happens to a baseball pitcher when he loses a big game? He goes into the throes of depression. 2.4 stars
15. What is another name for Korean cuisine? Seoul food. 3.8 stars
16. A weaver bird uses its beak to construct its nest. The definitive book on weaver birds is entitled 'To Call a Smocking Bird.' 1.9 stars
17. Hair stylists are truly a braid a part. 3.0 stars
18. How would you describe a dachshund standing on top of a sundial? Short on time. 3.1 stars
19. What is the difference between a soup and a chowder? The soup is quieter while the chowder makes a clamor. 2.4 stars
20. What was the retired dentist's favorite card game? Bridge. 3.2 stars
21. What do you call an unsuccessful spinal surgery? A debackle. 2.7 stars
22. When the vocal instructor at our local music academy thought he smelled smoke, he set off the fire alarm. It turned out to be nothing. It was a falsetto alarm. 2.5 stars
23. What is claustrophobia? An unnatural fear of jolly old St. Nick! 3.2 stars
24. My uncle is the bass in a barbershop quartet. Yesterday was his first time to sing so low. 2.4 stars
25. What do you call a survey you fill out after staying in a motel? Innput. 3.1 stars
26. What do you call an arctic cold spell at the end of the year? Decemburr! 2.8 stars
27. A group of ophthalmologists proposed a resolution to make 2020 the 'Year of the Eye'. The resolution was passed unanimously. The Eyes had it! 3.0 stars
28. A juvenile delinquent is an example of an arrested youth. 2.8 stars
29. The knitter did not say much but she shrugged a lot! 2.2 stars
30. On Halloween, what is the most read part of a newspaper? The 'Horrorscope.' 2.9 stars
31. When you and your neighbors overeat at a backyard barbeque, it is called a pignic. 3.3 stars
32. I always eat a lot of chocolate on Valentine's Day because I know after the middle of February, Lent will be fast approaching. 1.7 stars
33. When I was studying environmental science, my favorite professor was an expert on wetlands and quagmires. I still love to read his bog post. 2.3 stars
34. In 1582 William Shakespeare married a lady named Anne. Rumor has it that he often said, 'She hath a way about her.' 3.1 stars
35. Our high school math teacher moonlights by selling concessions at local baseball games. He is a true ballpark figure. 1.7 stars
36. What do you call a neighborhood where several authors live? A writers' block. 3.8 stars
37. My favorite garden store is having a sale on potting soil. It is now dirt cheap. 3.7 stars
38. Authentic hemp rope is made ac-cord-ing to string-ent regulations. 2.3 stars
39. On New Year's Eve, old Father Time hands over time to Baby New Year with a scythe of relief! 2.0 stars
40. What do you call it when you take a picture of your favorite bookcase? A shelf-ie! 2.9 stars
41. After he retired, why did the pro golfer buy a doughnut shop? He enjoyed making holes in one. 2.4 stars
42. Each winter my uncle has his chimney inspected and cleaned. He does this to prepare his home for the 'flue' season! 2.8 stars
43. The bakery was so wrapped up in decorating for Christmas that they even decorated their website's cookies. 2.7 stars
44. Once there was a Scottish thief who stole only valuable, antique tartans. When he was arrested, he plaid guilty. 2.8 stars
45. My cousin Henry loves automotive history. He never gets tired of studying it. He gets Benz out of shape if you say his hobby is a waste of time. It occupies his every spare moment. 1.7 stars
46. I am writing a term paper on various types of golf courses. I have found many links on the computer. 2.9 stars
47. The dermatologist loved to cook. He made everything from scratch. 1.8 stars
48. When the tree surgeon and his girlfriend broke up, he pined for her for months. Knock on wood, they will someday get back together. 2.2 stars
49. My sister fell in love with a circus trapeze artist. At first, we all thought she was attracted to his net worth, but she said it was his gravity-defying leaps of thought. They are both flying high now. 1.8 stars
50. My church has a well-respected bell choir. I started to audition for it but the long practice sessions did not appeal to me. I am sorry now I did not inquire more about it out because now my chance is gong forever. 1.7 stars
51. What is a shoe repairman's favorite dessert? Cobbler. 3.2 stars
52. Exterminators never die - they are just gnat seen anymore. 2.0 stars
53. What is the most romantic fruit? Dates. 3.0 stars
54. The barista earned latte good tips. 2.3 stars
55. Old English teachers never die - they just parse away. 3.0 stars
56. What do you call the medical condition where your feet go to sleep? Coma-toes. 4.0 stars
57. At the annual Anglo-Saxon Fair, I did not drink any wassail. I did not feel any mead for it. 2.0 stars
58. Why did the lumberjack lose his job? He axed too many questions. 3.1 stars
59. The neurologist wanted to propose to his girl friend, but he just didn't have the nerve. 3.1 stars
60. Why are brain surgeons ambitious? They want to get a head. 2.9 stars
61. Canus Major was the original alpha dog. 2.4 stars
62. The high school music teacher was quite controversial. He told his students to read band books. 3.4 stars
63. In ancient Egypt, papyrus farmers taught people the importance of reeding. 3.5 stars
64. The admiral's motto was, 'Do it schooner, not later!' 2.9 stars
65. The student had such a big assignment, he had to burn his kindle at both ends. 3.4 stars
66. My trip to the Grand Canyon cost a hole lot of money and gorged my bank account butte it was worth it! 3.1 stars
67. To use a computer to prospect for gold, you need to downlode. 2.7 stars
68. The optometrist ran for mayor because he was a visionary. 3.2 stars
69. What does a king eat while on his throne? Soup of the dais. 2.4 stars
70. The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in. 3.9 stars
71. An heir is someone with a descent wage. 2.7 stars
72. When the statistics professor and the math professor wrote a cookbook together, they called it 'Pi A La Mode.' 3.4 stars
73. The linen shop gave their employees free bedding. Even their accountant had his own handmade spread sheet. 3.2 stars
74. The geneticist taught his students how to mendel defective genes. 2.5 stars
75. What part of the United States produces the largest number of cardiologists? The heartland. 3.1 stars
76. Motel operators never die, they just check out. 3.3 stars
77. The dermatologist was an avid gardener but he had a problem with moles. 3.3 stars
78. The roulette dealer had a unique personality. He had a different spin on everything. 3.2 stars
79. The pilot was a loner but even for him flying a drone was just too remote. 3.0 stars
80. The international jewel thieves were hard to catch because they had a good ring leader. 3.4 stars
81. When the snake charmer wanted to get dressed up, she put on an extra garter. 3.1 stars
82. The hotel chef was noted for his tomfoolery and his capers. 2.6 stars
83. The concert violinist believed in exercise, consequently, he was fit as a fiddle. 3.6 stars
84. The baseball pitcher's personality needed some polish. He was a diamond in the rough. 2.8 stars
85. Shopaholics never die, they just sale away. 3.7 stars
86. Old pianists never die, they just adagio away. 2.2 stars
87. The mother kangaroo tried to instill good financial habits in her baby. She told him to pocket all his allowance. 2.8 stars
88. The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord. 3.6 stars
89. Soup operas were the big winners at the Cans Film Festival. 3.1 stars
90. The humorist's favorite sandwich was smoked tongue on wry. 3.2 stars
91. As usual, the chief meteorologist blustered his way through the staff meeting. 2.4 stars
92. The portrait artist made extra money as a census taker. He was good at canvasing people. 3.4 stars
93. The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense. 3.4 stars
94. The landscaper thought gardening magazines were fun to leaf through. 3.2 stars
95. The soprano was very optimistic and always left her friends on a high note. 3.2 stars
96. Due to inclement weather, the sandwich shop wrapped up early Tuesday night. 3.1 stars
97. When I went to the International Club, I accidentally spilled coffee on a Hindu lady's dress. I told her I was very sari. 3.0 stars
98. The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness. 3.6 stars
99. The two geologists lived only a stone's throw apart. 3.0 stars
100. When the Dalmatian ran away, he was spotted two blocks from home. 3.7 stars
101. The church choir robes were too long and needed to be hymned. 3.4 stars
102. Every November, Mark, a member of MENSA, wishes his peers 'Happy Thinksgiving!' 2.2 stars