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Listing puns for Hyla Hope Harder



1. I always eat a lot of chocolate on Valentine's Day because I know after the middle of February, Lent will be fast approaching. 1.6 stars
2. When I was studying environmental science, my favorite professor was an expert on wetlands and quagmires. I still love to read his bog post. 2.3 stars
3. In 1582 William Shakespeare married a lady named Anne. Rumor has it that he often said, 'She hath a way about her.' 3.1 stars
4. Our high school math teacher moonlights by selling concessions at local baseball games. He is a true ballpark figure. 1.7 stars
5. What do you call a neighborhood where several authors live? A writers' block. 3.8 stars
6. My favorite garden store is having a sale on potting soil. It is now dirt cheap. 3.7 stars
7. Authentic hemp rope is made ac-cord-ing to string-ent regulations. 2.3 stars
8. On New Year's Eve, old Father Time hands over time to Baby New Year with a scythe of relief! 2.0 stars
9. What do you call it when you take a picture of your favorite bookcase? A shelf-ie! 2.9 stars
10. After he retired, why did the pro golfer buy a doughnut shop? He enjoyed making holes in one. 2.4 stars
11. Each winter my uncle has his chimney inspected and cleaned. He does this to prepare his home for the 'flue' season! 2.8 stars
12. The bakery was so wrapped up in decorating for Christmas that they even decorated their website's cookies. 2.6 stars
13. Once there was a Scottish thief who stole only valuable, antique tartans. When he was arrested, he plaid guilty. 2.8 stars
14. My cousin Henry loves automotive history. He never gets tired of studying it. He gets Benz out of shape if you say his hobby is a waste of time. It occupies his every spare moment. 1.7 stars
15. I am writing a term paper on various types of golf courses. I have found many links on the computer. 2.9 stars
16. The dermatologist loved to cook. He made everything from scratch. 1.8 stars
17. When the tree surgeon and his girlfriend broke up, he pined for her for months. Knock on wood, they will someday get back together. 2.1 stars
18. My sister fell in love with a circus trapeze artist. At first, we all thought she was attracted to his net worth, but she said it was his gravity-defying leaps of thought. They are both flying high now. 1.8 stars
19. My church has a well-respected bell choir. I started to audition for it but the long practice sessions did not appeal to me. I am sorry now I did not inquire more about it out because now my chance is gong forever. 1.7 stars
20. What is a shoe repairman's favorite dessert? Cobbler. 3.2 stars
21. Exterminators never die - they are just gnat seen anymore. 2.0 stars
22. What is the most romantic fruit? Dates. 2.9 stars
23. The barista earned latte good tips. 2.3 stars
24. Old English teachers never die - they just parse away. 3.0 stars
25. What do you call the medical condition where your feet go to sleep? Coma-toes. 4.0 stars
26. At the annual Anglo-Saxon Fair, I did not drink any wassail. I did not feel any mead for it. 2.0 stars
27. Why did the lumberjack lose his job? He axed too many questions. 3.1 stars
28. The neurologist wanted to propose to his girl friend, but he just didn't have the nerve. 3.0 stars
29. Why are brain surgeons ambitious? They want to get a head. 2.9 stars
30. Canus Major was the original alpha dog. 2.4 stars
31. The high school music teacher was quite controversial. He told his students to read band books. 3.4 stars
32. In ancient Egypt, papyrus farmers taught people the importance of reeding. 3.5 stars
33. The admiral's motto was, 'Do it schooner, not later!' 2.9 stars
34. The student had such a big assignment, he had to burn his kindle at both ends. 3.4 stars
35. My trip to the Grand Canyon cost a hole lot of money and gorged my bank account butte it was worth it! 3.1 stars
36. To use a computer to prospect for gold, you need to downlode. 2.7 stars
37. The optometrist ran for mayor because he was a visionary. 3.2 stars
38. What does a king eat while on his throne? Soup of the dais. 2.4 stars
39. The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in. 3.9 stars
40. An heir is someone with a descent wage. 2.8 stars
41. When the statistics professor and the math professor wrote a cookbook together, they called it 'Pi A La Mode.' 3.4 stars
42. The linen shop gave their employees free bedding. Even their accountant had his own handmade spread sheet. 3.2 stars
43. The geneticist taught his students how to mendel defective genes. 2.5 stars
44. What part of the United States produces the largest number of cardiologists? The heartland. 3.1 stars
45. Motel operators never die, they just check out. 3.3 stars
46. The dermatologist was an avid gardener but he had a problem with moles. 3.3 stars
47. The roulette dealer had a unique personality. He had a different spin on everything. 3.2 stars
48. The pilot was a loner but even for him flying a drone was just too remote. 3.0 stars
49. The international jewel thieves were hard to catch because they had a good ring leader. 3.4 stars
50. When the snake charmer wanted to get dressed up, she put on an extra garter. 3.1 stars
51. The hotel chef was noted for his tomfoolery and his capers. 2.6 stars
52. The concert violinist believed in exercise, consequently, he was fit as a fiddle. 3.6 stars
53. The baseball pitcher's personality needed some polish. He was a diamond in the rough. 2.8 stars
54. Shopaholics never die, they just sale away. 3.7 stars
55. Old pianists never die, they just adagio away. 2.2 stars
56. The mother kangaroo tried to instill good financial habits in her baby. She told him to pocket all his allowance. 2.8 stars
57. The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord. 3.6 stars
58. Soup operas were the big winners at the Cans Film Festival. 3.1 stars
59. The humorist's favorite sandwich was smoked tongue on wry. 3.2 stars
60. As usual, the chief meteorologist blustered his way through the staff meeting. 2.4 stars
61. The portrait artist made extra money as a census taker. He was good at canvasing people. 3.4 stars
62. The grammarian was very logical. He had a lot of comma sense. 3.4 stars
63. The landscaper thought gardening magazines were fun to leaf through. 3.2 stars
64. The soprano was very optimistic and always left her friends on a high note. 3.2 stars
65. Due to inclement weather, the sandwich shop wrapped up early Tuesday night. 3.1 stars
66. When I went to the International Club, I accidentally spilled coffee on a Hindu lady's dress. I told her I was very sari. 3.0 stars
67. The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness. 3.6 stars
68. The two geologists lived only a stone's throw apart. 3.0 stars
69. When the Dalmatian ran away, he was spotted two blocks from home. 3.7 stars
70. The church choir robes were too long and needed to be hymned. 3.4 stars
71. Every November, Mark, a member of MENSA, wishes his peers 'Happy Thinksgiving!' 2.2 stars