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Listing puns for Joseph Leff



1. Fairgrounds are mediocre coffee. 2.7 stars
2. An apprentice housekeeper is maid to order. 3.6 stars
3. A goat giving birth is just kidding. 4.2 stars
4. A courthouse is where you can play indoor tennis. 2.2 stars
5. A spinal cord is the sound of a back breaking. 2.2 stars
6. Ratify is how a witch turns a person into a rodent. 3.0 stars
7. Aloha is a soft laugh. 3.8 stars
8. Bisons means about boy twins. 1.8 stars
9. A whirligig is a rock band playing in a helicopter. 2.3 stars
10. A completed jigsaw puzzle is a pieceful solution. 3.8 stars
11. A groundhog is the guy who drank all his coffee. 2.0 stars
12. A craftsman is a sailor. 1.8 stars
13. An excited stag runs for deer life. 3.5 stars
14. Bank robbery is a safe job. 3.6 stars
15. A timber wolf is an animal with wooden legs. 1.7 stars
16. An apron trade is a smock exchange. 2.2 stars
17. A donkey opens the godfather's door. 1.7 stars
18. A queue at a haunted house is a line of fright. 1.8 stars
19. A play place is a stage. 1.6 stars
20. Ivory soap is used by an elephant to clean its tusks. 2.2 stars
21. A staff member is a musical note. 2.1 stars
22. An acupuncturist is a pin doctor. 2.0 stars
23. A job application is when you must spell each word write. 1.8 stars
24. A female skunk is a stinker belle. 3.0 stars
25. A kidney is a young goat's leg joint. 3.4 stars
26. Woodcraft is a log canoe. 1.6 stars
27. An easy jailbreak is a slip of the pen. 3.0 stars
28. A copier is a shared berth. 1.3 stars
29. Antelope is opposed to jogging. 2.6 stars
30. A logging site is a chopping center. 2.9 stars
31. Pathologists seldom get lost. 3.2 stars
32. A military alcoholic drink is a mug of war. 1.6 stars
33. A donation is a country full of money. 2.5 stars
34. A jungle gym is where gorillas play. 2.2 stars
35. A bookkeeper is a problem for a library. 3.6 stars
36. An angry skunk will reek its vengeance. 3.1 stars
37. Dieting fraud is high weigh robbery. 3.1 stars
38. A couch is a remote location. 3.3 stars
39. A usurer takes lots of interest in his work. 3.1 stars
40. Paratroopers pull strings to stay on the job. 3.9 stars
41. A surgeon's income is severance pay. 2.7 stars
42. A food fight is roll playing. 2.5 stars
43. A head-hunter is a safari leader. 2.4 stars
44. Provision means to favor sight. 1.8 stars
45. Forgery is why some citizens get notices to appear at a courthouse. 1.9 stars
46. A giggle is a small job for musicians. 2.5 stars
47. Loading is a small dent in the bottom of a car. 1.5 stars
48. Livelihood is an energetic gangster. 2.2 stars
49. A comfortable thief takes things easy. 3.0 stars
50. An anesthesiologist is a real knock-out. 3.1 stars
51. Everybody is the goal of a small-town mortician. 2.6 stars
52. A bad resume is a hire extinguisher. 3.6 stars
53. Dr. Frankenstein's lab was a recreation room. 3.4 stars
54. Con game money is the grift of the grab. 2.2 stars
55. Sawbones is what happened when the doctor looked at the X-ray. 2.6 stars
56. Installing auto mufflers is exhausting work. 3.6 stars
57. A hydrologist has a high-pressure job. 2.7 stars
58. Procure is used to heal a professional. 1.8 stars
59. A solitary farmer is a lone granger. 3.0 stars
60. A ghoul that dines on kangaroos is a hop goblin. 1.9 stars
61. Divers work under pressure. 3.2 stars
62. An acupuncturist keeps you on pins and needles. 2.8 stars
63. A graveyard shift is a cemetery in an earthquake. 2.7 stars
64. Lifelong counterfeiters never make any real money. 3.6 stars
65. A rabbit's warren is a hare craft. 1.5 stars
66. Pigs flying is an example of swine flew. 3.9 stars
67. Merchants are sung by a mermaid choir. 1.7 stars
68. Feather dusters are used to clean parakeets. 1.7 stars
69. A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat. 3.1 stars
70. The life of a lens maker is a real grind. 3.0 stars
71. Circus dogs fly through the air with the greatest of fleas. 2.7 stars
72. A croquette is a flirtatious female frog. 2.8 stars
73. A chiropractor is a lumbar jack. 3.5 stars
74. Taxidermy is a job for stuffy people. 3.9 stars
75. A university is a city in outer space. 2.8 stars
76. Bringing home very little net pay is the sign of a good trapeze acrobat. 2.5 stars
77. Watchdogs are covered with ticks. 2.9 stars
78. Shirts are pressed for cash. 2.9 stars
79. A skunk breeder is a person of phew words. 3.6 stars
80. A harbor master is in charge of berth control. 3.3 stars
81. A cowbell is what you call a lovely Southern cow. 2.5 stars
82. When the dog swallowed a bell, his bark began pealing. 1.9 stars
83. Pay for irony is wry bread. 1.9 stars
84. Notary means insufficiently ventilated. 1.6 stars
85. A storyteller is a gossipy bank employee. 2.3 stars
86. The Ferris wheel inventor is the father of the ride. 1.9 stars
87. A seal has a ball at the circus. 2.7 stars
88. Oncology is the study of car horns. 1.7 stars
89. Lungs are a pair of windbags. 2.1 stars
90. Seamstress is caused by wearing tight clothing. 3.3 stars
91. An angry skunk reeks his vengeance. 3.6 stars
92. A red blood count is a communist vampire. 2.7 stars
93. Santa came down with the flue. 2.8 stars
94. Australian beer-brewers use kangaroo hops. 2.8 stars
95. Deciding what Christmas gifts to give makes one present tense. 3.0 stars
96. A contest between church choirs is the battle of the choral see. 2.3 stars
97. Driving while using a cell phone is veer-inspiring. 1.5 stars
98. Sainthood is a gangster who truly repented. 2.3 stars
99. An umbilical cord is a navel vessel. 3.2 stars
100. A golf course is a foreground. 2.5 stars
101. A dermatologist is a flesh man. 1.6 stars
102. Bookkeepers are problems for libraries. 3.1 stars
103. Labyrinths are amazing. 3.3 stars
104. Marie was curious about radium. 1.8 stars
105. Religious vultures prey for their food. 3.4 stars
106. High school grammar books are parse for the course. 2.2 stars
107. A butter is an angry goat. 2.5 stars
108. Bring about is what a boxing promoter does. 2.4 stars
109. Spoilsport is the harbor where booty is shipped in. 2.1 stars
110. A funny criminal is a silicon. 3.1 stars
111. A novice skier often jumps to contusions. 3.1 stars
112. Crosswords are what you hear when you distract someone working on a puzzle. 3.4 stars
113. A taxidermist specializes in skin for cabs. 1.7 stars
114. Attire goes on a wheel. 2.7 stars
115. When a female sheep turns around and goes the other way it makes a ewe turn. 3.9 stars
116. A synthesis is an essay about transgressions. 1.8 stars
117. Valentine's Day is pure cupidity. 2.4 stars
118. A TV repairman's job is to get set to work. 2.0 stars
119. To vulcanize is to become like Spock. 1.9 stars
120. You use a lumberjack when your tree is flat. 2.7 stars
121. Tire stores are highway rubbery. 3.0 stars
122. When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel. 2.7 stars
123. Some Missouri home designers are Ozark-itects. 1.9 stars
124. A locksmith is a key employee. 3.7 stars
125. Labor contracts come just before childbirth. 2.6 stars
126. A sewer is a tailor. 1.6 stars
127. Lamp factories have light workloads. 3.6 stars
128. CPR is a near-breath experience. 3.0 stars
129. Accountant is a royal insect. 2.4 stars
130. A surgeon's comments are incisive remarks. 3.3 stars
131. Iamb a poet. 2.5 stars
132. Carrot is auto rust. 1.7 stars
133. Vampires use must use mouthwash because they have bat breath. 2.7 stars
134. Resale means to go yachting again. 1.9 stars
135. The purpose of the IT Service Department is to be a customer-server. 2.0 stars
136. Overworked physicists put too many ions in the fire. 3.3 stars
137. 'We've got the best marriage' is a hitching boast. 2.0 stars
138. Seesaw is how you find a woodcutter. 1.8 stars
139. Doctors send patients to pool halls to find remarkable cuers. 2.3 stars
140. A sports coat worn on a hike is a trailblazer. 3.8 stars
141. Sailing is like oil drilling because they're both crewed businesses. 3.0 stars
142. Ash Wednesday follows Volcanic Tuesday. 2.8 stars
143. A Valentine's Day card is a hearty note. 2.6 stars
144. Art theft is a haul of frames. 3.1 stars
145. Eating oysters can help you increase your mussel tone. 3.5 stars
146. A hurricane is a stick used to encourage speed. 2.7 stars
147. A ship's captain is a sails manager. 3.4 stars
148. Parking - an average sovereign. 2.3 stars
149. The third degree is a diploma for successful criminals. 2.9 stars
150. An egg pulls a cart with a yolk. 2.4 stars
151. A yak is the star of an animal talk show. 3.0 stars
152. A mosquito is the oldest known skin-diver. 3.0 stars
153. The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite. 3.5 stars
154. An avionics warning is a flier alarm. 2.7 stars
155. Digest is morbid humor. 1.8 stars
156. An embrace at a nudist colony is a bare hug. 3.4 stars
157. An instructor at an ice cream parlor is a sundae school teacher. 3.6 stars
158. People who listen to long political speeches are bulldozers. 3.3 stars
159. When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely, he was so sad he was disheartened. 2.8 stars
160. A weeknight is a tiny nobleman. 2.7 stars
161. Some doting parents are son worshipers. 2.8 stars
162. A summer is a mathematician. 2.4 stars
163. When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed. 2.8 stars
164. When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome. 3.2 stars
165. A cannonball is a party for artillerymen. 3.2 stars
166. The land where movies are made is called reel estate. 3.1 stars
167. Surprises is the knight in charge of awards. 2.3 stars
168. 'Because' is a word to the whys. 3.6 stars
169. A no-fly zone prohibits zippers. 3.4 stars
170. Rental agents offer quarters for dollars. 3.5 stars
171. A harp that was shaved is a bare-faced lyre. 3.0 stars
172. A shotgun is an exhausted rifle. 2.6 stars
173. Historians have extra-century perception. 3.7 stars
174. Was Noel Coward afraid of traditional Christmas music? 2.9 stars
175. Cows make noise only when they're in the mood. 3.2 stars
176. Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'. 3.2 stars
177. The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind. 3.3 stars
178. When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted. 3.8 stars
179. A glide-path is a soar spot. 3.0 stars
180. A funeral ship is a sea hearse. 3.1 stars
181. The word 'ovine' means just like ewe. 2.9 stars
182. People who teach drivers' education are roads scholars. 3.3 stars
183. With Iowa crows swearing all over the places, the result was statewide caw cusses. 3.3 stars
184. The hoarfrost that forms on a daycare center's windows is called nursery rime. 3.0 stars
185. Dental care in Panama is called a route canal. 3.4 stars
186. The people who are predicting when all time will halt are known as endochronologists. 3.0 stars
187. The chiropractic author wrote a spinal column. 3.1 stars
188. When the church relocated it had an organ transplant. 3.6 stars
189. The place to trade dresses is called a frock exchange. 2.7 stars
190. A crow is a four-letter bird. 2.5 stars
191. Mathematicians are sum worshippers. 3.0 stars
192. A trick-or-treat route is a fright path. 2.3 stars
193. The fastest, most efficient way to make Halloween costumes is mask production. 3.0 stars
194. The cheap hotel was really a violin. 1.7 stars
195. Optometrists live long because they dilate. 3.8 stars