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Listing puns for Joseph Leff



1. Dispensed means to change from pounds to dollars. 3.0 stars
2. Intestine is somebody taking an exam right now. 3.0 stars
3. Fearsome is a phobia about addition. 2.2 stars
4. Toucan happens when one can't. 2.9 stars
5. Midwife is the second wife of three. 2.9 stars
6. A school of fish is where you learn about the ABCs. 1.4 stars
7. A paratrooper pulls strings to stay on the job. 3.5 stars
8. Commuters live in a clock-eyed world. 2.2 stars
9. A seaman is forging ahead when he writes graffiti on bathroom walls. 1.8 stars
10. A surgeon who does a cut-rate operation is a cheap doctor. 2.0 stars
11. A chicken on a roller coaster is a cause of cheep thrills. 2.6 stars
12. Maids are weapons of muss destruction. 2.2 stars
13. Caesar salad means she notices her food. 2.2 stars
14. Morsel is the aim of the marketing department. 2.4 stars
15. Routines are dental procedures. 1.7 stars
16. Checking account means verifying testimony. 2.0 stars
17. A bargain is a tavern's profit. 2.8 stars
18. A water chess nut loves to play chess aboard ships. 1.9 stars
19. A debutante is having a ball. 2.0 stars
20. Fairgrounds are mediocre coffee. 2.7 stars
21. An apprentice housekeeper is maid to order. 3.6 stars
22. A goat giving birth is just kidding. 4.0 stars
23. A courthouse is where you can play indoor tennis. 2.2 stars
24. A spinal cord is the sound of a back breaking. 2.2 stars
25. Ratify is how a witch turns a person into a rodent. 2.9 stars
26. Aloha is a soft laugh. 3.7 stars
27. Bisons means about boy twins. 1.8 stars
28. A whirligig is a rock band playing in a helicopter. 2.4 stars
29. A completed jigsaw puzzle is a pieceful solution. 3.8 stars
30. A groundhog is the guy who drank all his coffee. 2.0 stars
31. A craftsman is a sailor. 1.8 stars
32. An excited stag runs for deer life. 3.5 stars
33. Bank robbery is a safe job. 3.5 stars
34. A timber wolf is an animal with wooden legs. 1.7 stars
35. An apron trade is a smock exchange. 2.2 stars
36. A donkey opens the godfather's door. 1.7 stars
37. A queue at a haunted house is a line of fright. 1.8 stars
38. A play place is a stage. 1.6 stars
39. Ivory soap is used by an elephant to clean its tusks. 2.2 stars
40. A staff member is a musical note. 2.2 stars
41. An acupuncturist is a pin doctor. 2.0 stars
42. A job application is when you must spell each word write. 1.8 stars
43. A female skunk is a stinker belle. 3.0 stars
44. A kidney is a young goat's leg joint. 3.4 stars
45. Woodcraft is a log canoe. 1.6 stars
46. An easy jailbreak is a slip of the pen. 3.0 stars
47. A copier is a shared berth. 1.4 stars
48. Antelope is opposed to jogging. 2.6 stars
49. A logging site is a chopping center. 2.9 stars
50. Pathologists seldom get lost. 3.2 stars
51. A military alcoholic drink is a mug of war. 1.6 stars
52. A donation is a country full of money. 2.5 stars
53. A jungle gym is where gorillas play. 2.2 stars
54. A bookkeeper is a problem for a library. 3.6 stars
55. An angry skunk will reek its vengeance. 3.1 stars
56. Dieting fraud is high weigh robbery. 3.1 stars
57. A couch is a remote location. 3.3 stars
58. A usurer takes lots of interest in his work. 3.1 stars
59. Paratroopers pull strings to stay on the job. 3.9 stars
60. A surgeon's income is severance pay. 2.7 stars
61. A food fight is roll playing. 2.5 stars
62. A head-hunter is a safari leader. 2.4 stars
63. Provision means to favor sight. 1.8 stars
64. Forgery is why some citizens get notices to appear at a courthouse. 1.9 stars
65. A giggle is a small job for musicians. 2.5 stars
66. Loading is a small dent in the bottom of a car. 1.5 stars
67. Livelihood is an energetic gangster. 2.2 stars
68. A comfortable thief takes things easy. 3.0 stars
69. An anesthesiologist is a real knock-out. 3.1 stars
70. Everybody is the goal of a small-town mortician. 2.6 stars
71. A bad resume is a hire extinguisher. 3.6 stars
72. Dr. Frankenstein's lab was a recreation room. 3.4 stars
73. Con game money is the grift of the grab. 2.2 stars
74. Sawbones is what happened when the doctor looked at the X-ray. 2.6 stars
75. Installing auto mufflers is exhausting work. 3.6 stars
76. A hydrologist has a high-pressure job. 2.7 stars
77. Procure is used to heal a professional. 1.8 stars
78. A solitary farmer is a lone granger. 3.0 stars
79. A ghoul that dines on kangaroos is a hop goblin. 1.9 stars
80. Divers work under pressure. 3.2 stars
81. An acupuncturist keeps you on pins and needles. 2.8 stars
82. A graveyard shift is a cemetery in an earthquake. 2.7 stars
83. Lifelong counterfeiters never make any real money. 3.7 stars
84. A rabbit's warren is a hare craft. 1.5 stars
85. Pigs flying is an example of swine flew. 3.9 stars
86. Merchants are sung by a mermaid choir. 1.7 stars
87. Feather dusters are used to clean parakeets. 1.7 stars
88. A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat. 3.1 stars
89. The life of a lens maker is a real grind. 3.0 stars
90. Circus dogs fly through the air with the greatest of fleas. 2.7 stars
91. A croquette is a flirtatious female frog. 2.8 stars
92. A chiropractor is a lumbar jack. 3.5 stars
93. Taxidermy is a job for stuffy people. 3.9 stars
94. A university is a city in outer space. 2.8 stars
95. Bringing home very little net pay is the sign of a good trapeze acrobat. 2.5 stars
96. Watchdogs are covered with ticks. 2.9 stars
97. Shirts are pressed for cash. 2.9 stars
98. A skunk breeder is a person of phew words. 3.6 stars
99. A harbor master is in charge of berth control. 3.4 stars
100. A cowbell is what you call a lovely Southern cow. 2.5 stars
101. When the dog swallowed a bell, his bark began pealing. 1.9 stars
102. Pay for irony is wry bread. 1.9 stars
103. Notary means insufficiently ventilated. 1.6 stars
104. A storyteller is a gossipy bank employee. 2.3 stars
105. The Ferris wheel inventor is the father of the ride. 1.9 stars
106. A seal has a ball at the circus. 2.7 stars
107. Oncology is the study of car horns. 1.7 stars
108. Lungs are a pair of windbags. 2.1 stars
109. Seamstress is caused by wearing tight clothing. 3.3 stars
110. An angry skunk reeks his vengeance. 3.6 stars
111. A red blood count is a communist vampire. 2.7 stars
112. Santa came down with the flue. 2.8 stars
113. Australian beer-brewers use kangaroo hops. 2.8 stars
114. Deciding what Christmas gifts to give makes one present tense. 3.0 stars
115. A contest between church choirs is the battle of the choral see. 2.3 stars
116. Driving while using a cell phone is veer-inspiring. 1.5 stars
117. Sainthood is a gangster who truly repented. 2.3 stars
118. An umbilical cord is a navel vessel. 3.2 stars
119. A golf course is a foreground. 2.5 stars
120. A dermatologist is a flesh man. 1.6 stars
121. Bookkeepers are problems for libraries. 3.1 stars
122. Labyrinths are amazing. 3.3 stars
123. Marie was curious about radium. 1.8 stars
124. Religious vultures prey for their food. 3.4 stars
125. High school grammar books are parse for the course. 2.2 stars
126. A butter is an angry goat. 2.5 stars
127. Bring about is what a boxing promoter does. 2.4 stars
128. Spoilsport is the harbor where booty is shipped in. 2.1 stars
129. A funny criminal is a silicon. 3.1 stars
130. A novice skier often jumps to contusions. 3.1 stars
131. Crosswords are what you hear when you distract someone working on a puzzle. 3.4 stars
132. A taxidermist specializes in skin for cabs. 1.7 stars
133. Attire goes on a wheel. 2.7 stars
134. When a female sheep turns around and goes the other way it makes a ewe turn. 3.9 stars
135. A synthesis is an essay about transgressions. 1.8 stars
136. Valentine's Day is pure cupidity. 2.4 stars
137. A TV repairman's job is to get set to work. 2.0 stars
138. To vulcanize is to become like Spock. 1.9 stars
139. You use a lumberjack when your tree is flat. 2.7 stars
140. Tire stores are highway rubbery. 3.0 stars
141. When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel. 2.7 stars
142. Some Missouri home designers are Ozark-itects. 1.9 stars
143. A locksmith is a key employee. 3.7 stars
144. Labor contracts come just before childbirth. 2.6 stars
145. A sewer is a tailor. 1.6 stars
146. Lamp factories have light workloads. 3.6 stars
147. CPR is a near-breath experience. 3.0 stars
148. Accountant is a royal insect. 2.4 stars
149. A surgeon's comments are incisive remarks. 3.3 stars
150. Iamb a poet. 2.5 stars
151. Carrot is auto rust. 1.7 stars
152. Vampires use must use mouthwash because they have bat breath. 2.7 stars
153. Resale means to go yachting again. 1.9 stars
154. The purpose of the IT Service Department is to be a customer-server. 2.0 stars
155. Overworked physicists put too many ions in the fire. 3.3 stars
156. 'We've got the best marriage' is a hitching boast. 2.0 stars
157. Seesaw is how you find a woodcutter. 1.8 stars
158. Doctors send patients to pool halls to find remarkable cuers. 2.3 stars
159. A sports coat worn on a hike is a trailblazer. 3.8 stars
160. Sailing is like oil drilling because they're both crewed businesses. 3.0 stars
161. Ash Wednesday follows Volcanic Tuesday. 2.8 stars
162. A Valentine's Day card is a hearty note. 2.6 stars
163. Art theft is a haul of frames. 3.1 stars
164. Eating oysters can help you increase your mussel tone. 3.5 stars
165. A hurricane is a stick used to encourage speed. 2.7 stars
166. A ship's captain is a sails manager. 3.4 stars
167. Parking - an average sovereign. 2.3 stars
168. The third degree is a diploma for successful criminals. 2.9 stars
169. An egg pulls a cart with a yolk. 2.4 stars
170. A yak is the star of an animal talk show. 3.0 stars
171. A mosquito is the oldest known skin-diver. 3.0 stars
172. The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite. 3.5 stars
173. An avionics warning is a flier alarm. 2.7 stars
174. Digest is morbid humor. 1.8 stars
175. An embrace at a nudist colony is a bare hug. 3.4 stars
176. An instructor at an ice cream parlor is a sundae school teacher. 3.6 stars
177. People who listen to long political speeches are bulldozers. 3.3 stars
178. When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely, he was so sad he was disheartened. 2.8 stars
179. A weeknight is a tiny nobleman. 2.7 stars
180. Some doting parents are son worshipers. 2.8 stars
181. A summer is a mathematician. 2.4 stars
182. When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed. 2.8 stars
183. When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome. 3.2 stars
184. A cannonball is a party for artillerymen. 3.2 stars
185. The land where movies are made is called reel estate. 3.1 stars
186. Surprises is the knight in charge of awards. 2.3 stars
187. 'Because' is a word to the whys. 3.6 stars
188. A no-fly zone prohibits zippers. 3.4 stars
189. Rental agents offer quarters for dollars. 3.5 stars
190. A harp that was shaved is a bare-faced lyre. 3.0 stars
191. A shotgun is an exhausted rifle. 2.6 stars
192. Historians have extra-century perception. 3.7 stars
193. Was Noel Coward afraid of traditional Christmas music? 2.9 stars
194. Cows make noise only when they're in the mood. 3.2 stars
195. Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'. 3.2 stars
196. The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind. 3.3 stars
197. When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted. 3.8 stars
198. A glide-path is a soar spot. 3.0 stars
199. A funeral ship is a sea hearse. 3.1 stars
200. The word 'ovine' means just like ewe. 2.9 stars
201. People who teach drivers' education are roads scholars. 3.3 stars
202. With Iowa crows swearing all over the places, the result was statewide caw cusses. 3.3 stars
203. The hoarfrost that forms on a daycare center's windows is called nursery rime. 3.0 stars
204. Dental care in Panama is called a route canal. 3.4 stars
205. The people who are predicting when all time will halt are known as endochronologists. 2.9 stars
206. The chiropractic author wrote a spinal column. 3.1 stars
207. When the church relocated it had an organ transplant. 3.6 stars
208. The place to trade dresses is called a frock exchange. 2.7 stars
209. A crow is a four-letter bird. 2.5 stars
210. Mathematicians are sum worshippers. 3.0 stars
211. A trick-or-treat route is a fright path. 2.3 stars
212. The fastest, most efficient way to make Halloween costumes is mask production. 3.0 stars
213. The cheap hotel was really a violin. 1.7 stars
214. Optometrists live long because they dilate. 3.8 stars