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Listing puns for Joseph Leff

1.	Dispensed means to change from pounds to dollars.
2.	Intestine is somebody taking an exam right now.
3.	Fearsome is a phobia about addition.
4.	Toucan happens when one can't.
5.	Midwife is the second wife of three.
6.	A school of fish is where you learn about the ABCs.
7.	A paratrooper pulls strings to stay on the job.
8.	Commuters live in a clock-eyed world.
9.	A seaman is forging ahead when he writes graffiti on bathroom walls.
10.	A surgeon who does a cut-rate operation is a cheap doctor.
11.	A chicken on a roller coaster is a cause of cheep thrills.
12.	Maids are weapons of muss destruction.
13.	Caesar salad means she notices her food.
14.	Morsel is the aim of the marketing department.
15.	Routines are dental procedures.
16.	Checking account means verifying testimony.
17.	A bargain is a tavern's profit.
18.	A water chess nut loves to play chess aboard ships.
19.	A debutante is having a ball.
20.	Fairgrounds are mediocre coffee.
21.	An apprentice housekeeper is maid to order.
22.	A goat giving birth is just kidding.
23.	A courthouse is where you can play indoor tennis.
24.	A spinal cord is the sound of a back breaking.
25.	Ratify is how a witch turns a person into a rodent.
26.	Aloha is a soft laugh.
27.	Bisons means about boy twins.
28.	A whirligig is a rock band playing in a helicopter.
29.	A completed jigsaw puzzle is a pieceful solution.
30.	A groundhog is the guy who drank all his coffee.
31.	A craftsman is a sailor.
32.	An excited stag runs for deer life.
33.	Bank robbery is a safe job.
34.	A timber wolf is an animal with wooden legs.
35.	An apron trade is a smock exchange.
36.	A donkey opens the godfather's door.
37.	A queue at a haunted house is a line of fright.
38.	A play place is a stage.
39.	Ivory soap is used by an elephant to clean its tusks.
40.	A staff member is a musical note.
41.	An acupuncturist is a pin doctor.
42.	A job application is when you must spell each word write.
43.	A female skunk is a stinker belle.
44.	A kidney is a young goat's leg joint.
45.	Woodcraft is a log canoe.
46.	An easy jailbreak is a slip of the pen.
47.	A copier is a shared berth.
48.	Antelope is opposed to jogging.
49.	A logging site is a chopping center.
50.	Pathologists seldom get lost.
51.	A military alcoholic drink is a mug of war.
52.	A donation is a country full of money.
53.	A jungle gym is where gorillas play.
54.	A bookkeeper is a problem for a library.
55.	An angry skunk will reek its vengeance.
56.	Dieting fraud is high weigh robbery.
57.	A couch is a remote location.
58.	A usurer takes lots of interest in his work.
59.	Paratroopers pull strings to stay on the job.
60.	A surgeon's income is severance pay.
61.	A food fight is roll playing.
62.	A head-hunter is a safari leader.
63.	Provision means to favor sight.
64.	Forgery is why some citizens get notices to appear at a courthouse.
65.	A giggle is a small job for musicians.
66.	Loading is a small dent in the bottom of a car.
67.	Livelihood is an energetic gangster.
68.	A comfortable thief takes things easy.
69.	An anesthesiologist is a real knock-out.
70.	Everybody is the goal of a small-town mortician.
71.	A bad resume is a hire extinguisher.
72.	Dr. Frankenstein's lab was a recreation room.
73.	Con game money is the grift of the grab.
74.	Sawbones is what happened when the doctor looked at the X-ray.
75.	Installing auto mufflers is exhausting work.
76.	A hydrologist has a high-pressure job.
77.	Procure is used to heal a professional.
78.	A solitary farmer is a lone granger.
79.	A ghoul that dines on kangaroos is a hop goblin.
80.	Divers work under pressure.
81.	An acupuncturist keeps you on pins and needles.
82.	A graveyard shift is a cemetery in an earthquake.
83.	Lifelong counterfeiters never make any real money.
84.	A rabbit's warren is a hare craft.
85.	Pigs flying is an example of swine flew.
86.	Merchants are sung by a mermaid choir.
87.	Feather dusters are used to clean parakeets.
88.	A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat.
89.	The life of a lens maker is a real grind.
90.	Circus dogs fly through the air with the greatest of fleas.
91.	A croquette is a flirtatious female frog.
92.	A chiropractor is a lumbar jack.
93.	Taxidermy is a job for stuffy people.
94.	A university is a city in outer space.
95.	Bringing home very little net pay is the sign of a good trapeze acrobat.
96.	Watchdogs are covered with ticks.
97.	Shirts are pressed for cash.
98.	A skunk breeder is a person of phew words.
99.	A harbor master is in charge of berth control.
100.	A cowbell is what you call a lovely Southern cow.
101.	When the dog swallowed a bell, his bark began pealing.
102.	Pay for irony is wry bread.
103.	Notary means insufficiently ventilated.
104.	A storyteller is a gossipy bank employee.
105.	The Ferris wheel inventor is the father of the ride.
106.	A seal has a ball at the circus.
107.	Oncology is the study of car horns.
108.	Lungs are a pair of windbags.
109.	Seamstress is caused by wearing tight clothing.
110.	An angry skunk reeks his vengeance.
111.	A red blood count is a communist vampire.
112.	Santa came down with the flue.
113.	Australian beer-brewers use kangaroo hops.
114.	Deciding what Christmas gifts to give makes one present tense.
115.	A contest between church choirs is the battle of the choral see.
116.	Driving while using a cell phone is veer-inspiring.
117.	Sainthood is a gangster who truly repented.
118.	An umbilical cord is a navel vessel.
119.	A golf course is a foreground.
120.	A dermatologist is a flesh man.
121.	Bookkeepers are problems for libraries.
122.	Labyrinths are amazing.
123.	Marie was curious about radium.
124.	Religious vultures prey for their food.
125.	High school grammar books are parse for the course.
126.	A butter is an angry goat.
127.	Bring about is what a boxing promoter does.
128.	Spoilsport is the harbor where booty is shipped in.
129.	A funny criminal is a silicon.
130.	A novice skier often jumps to contusions.
131.	Crosswords are what you hear when you distract someone working on a puzzle.
132.	A taxidermist specializes in skin for cabs.
133.	Attire goes on a wheel.
134.	When a female sheep turns around and goes the other way it makes a ewe turn.
135.	A synthesis is an essay about transgressions.
136.	Valentine's Day is pure cupidity.
137.	A TV repairman's job is to get set to work.
138.	To vulcanize is to become like Spock.
139.	You use a lumberjack when your tree is flat.
140.	Tire stores are highway rubbery.
141.	When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel.
142.	Some Missouri home designers are Ozark-itects.
143.	A locksmith is a key employee.
144.	Labor contracts come just before childbirth.
145.	A sewer is a tailor.
146.	Lamp factories have light workloads.
147.	CPR is a near-breath experience.
148.	Accountant is a royal insect.
149.	A surgeon's comments are incisive remarks.
150.	Iamb a poet.
151.	Carrot is auto rust.
152.	Vampires use must use mouthwash because they have bat breath.
153.	Resale means to go yachting again.
154.	The purpose of the IT Service Department is to be a customer-server.
155.	Overworked physicists put too many ions in the fire.
156.	'We've got the best marriage' is a hitching boast.
157.	Seesaw is how you find a woodcutter.
158.	Doctors send patients to pool halls to find remarkable cuers.
159.	A sports coat worn on a hike is a trailblazer.
160.	Sailing is like oil drilling because they're both crewed businesses.
161.	Ash Wednesday follows Volcanic Tuesday.
162.	A Valentine's Day card is a hearty note.
163.	Art theft is a haul of frames.
164.	Eating oysters can help you increase your mussel tone.
165.	A hurricane is a stick used to encourage speed.
166.	A ship's captain is a sails manager.
167.	Parking - an average sovereign.
168.	The third degree is a diploma for successful criminals.
169.	An egg pulls a cart with a yolk.
170.	A yak is the star of an animal talk show.
171.	A mosquito is the oldest known skin-diver.
172.	The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite.
173.	An avionics warning is a flier alarm.
174.	Digest is morbid humor.
175.	An embrace at a nudist colony is a bare hug.
176.	An instructor at an ice cream parlor is a sundae school teacher.
177.	People who listen to long political speeches are bulldozers.
178.	When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely, he was so sad he was disheartened.
179.	A weeknight is a tiny nobleman.
180.	Some doting parents are son worshipers.
181.	A summer is a mathematician.
182.	When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed.
183.	When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome.
184.	A cannonball is a party for artillerymen.
185.	The land where movies are made is called reel estate.
186.	Surprises is the knight in charge of awards.
187.	'Because' is a word to the whys.
188.	A no-fly zone prohibits zippers.
189.	Rental agents offer quarters for dollars.
190.	A harp that was shaved is a bare-faced lyre.
191.	A shotgun is an exhausted rifle.
192.	Historians have extra-century perception.
193.	Was Noel Coward afraid of traditional Christmas music?
194.	Cows make noise only when they're in the mood.
195.	Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'.
196.	The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind.
197.	When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted.
198.	A glide-path is a soar spot.
199.	A funeral ship is a sea hearse.
200.	The word 'ovine' means just like ewe.
201.	People who teach drivers' education are roads scholars.
202.	With Iowa crows swearing all over the places, the result was statewide caw cusses.
203.	The hoarfrost that forms on a daycare center's windows is called nursery rime.
204.	Dental care in Panama is called a route canal.
205.	The people who are predicting when all time will halt are known as endochronologists.
206.	The chiropractic author wrote a spinal column.
207.	When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.
208.	The place to trade dresses is called a frock exchange.
209.	A crow is a four-letter bird.
210.	Mathematicians are sum worshippers.
211.	A trick-or-treat route is a fright path.
212.	The fastest, most efficient way to make Halloween costumes is mask production.
213.	The cheap hotel was really a violin.
214.	Optometrists live long because they dilate.