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Listing puns for Joseph Leff



1. Morsel is the aim of the marketing department. 2.4 stars
2. Routines are dental procedures. 1.8 stars
3. Checking account means verifying testimony. 2.0 stars
4. A bargain is a tavern's profit. 2.7 stars
5. A water chess nut loves to play chess aboard ships. 1.9 stars
6. A debutante is having a ball. 2.0 stars
7. Fairgrounds are mediocre coffee. 2.7 stars
8. An apprentice housekeeper is maid to order. 3.6 stars
9. A goat giving birth is just kidding. 4.0 stars
10. A courthouse is where you can play indoor tennis. 2.2 stars
11. A spinal cord is the sound of a back breaking. 2.2 stars
12. Ratify is how a witch turns a person into a rodent. 2.9 stars
13. Aloha is a soft laugh. 3.8 stars
14. Bisons means about boy twins. 1.8 stars
15. A whirligig is a rock band playing in a helicopter. 2.3 stars
16. A completed jigsaw puzzle is a pieceful solution. 3.8 stars
17. A groundhog is the guy who drank all his coffee. 2.0 stars
18. A craftsman is a sailor. 1.8 stars
19. An excited stag runs for deer life. 3.5 stars
20. Bank robbery is a safe job. 3.6 stars
21. A timber wolf is an animal with wooden legs. 1.7 stars
22. An apron trade is a smock exchange. 2.2 stars
23. A donkey opens the godfather's door. 1.7 stars
24. A queue at a haunted house is a line of fright. 1.8 stars
25. A play place is a stage. 1.6 stars
26. Ivory soap is used by an elephant to clean its tusks. 2.2 stars
27. A staff member is a musical note. 2.2 stars
28. An acupuncturist is a pin doctor. 2.0 stars
29. A job application is when you must spell each word write. 1.8 stars
30. A female skunk is a stinker belle. 3.0 stars
31. A kidney is a young goat's leg joint. 3.4 stars
32. Woodcraft is a log canoe. 1.6 stars
33. An easy jailbreak is a slip of the pen. 3.0 stars
34. A copier is a shared berth. 1.3 stars
35. Antelope is opposed to jogging. 2.6 stars
36. A logging site is a chopping center. 2.9 stars
37. Pathologists seldom get lost. 3.2 stars
38. A military alcoholic drink is a mug of war. 1.6 stars
39. A donation is a country full of money. 2.5 stars
40. A jungle gym is where gorillas play. 2.2 stars
41. A bookkeeper is a problem for a library. 3.6 stars
42. An angry skunk will reek its vengeance. 3.1 stars
43. Dieting fraud is high weigh robbery. 3.1 stars
44. A couch is a remote location. 3.3 stars
45. A usurer takes lots of interest in his work. 3.1 stars
46. Paratroopers pull strings to stay on the job. 3.9 stars
47. A surgeon's income is severance pay. 2.7 stars
48. A food fight is roll playing. 2.5 stars
49. A head-hunter is a safari leader. 2.4 stars
50. Provision means to favor sight. 1.8 stars
51. Forgery is why some citizens get notices to appear at a courthouse. 1.9 stars
52. A giggle is a small job for musicians. 2.5 stars
53. Loading is a small dent in the bottom of a car. 1.5 stars
54. Livelihood is an energetic gangster. 2.2 stars
55. A comfortable thief takes things easy. 3.0 stars
56. An anesthesiologist is a real knock-out. 3.1 stars
57. Everybody is the goal of a small-town mortician. 2.6 stars
58. A bad resume is a hire extinguisher. 3.6 stars
59. Dr. Frankenstein's lab was a recreation room. 3.4 stars
60. Con game money is the grift of the grab. 2.2 stars
61. Sawbones is what happened when the doctor looked at the X-ray. 2.6 stars
62. Installing auto mufflers is exhausting work. 3.6 stars
63. A hydrologist has a high-pressure job. 2.7 stars
64. Procure is used to heal a professional. 1.8 stars
65. A solitary farmer is a lone granger. 3.0 stars
66. A ghoul that dines on kangaroos is a hop goblin. 1.9 stars
67. Divers work under pressure. 3.2 stars
68. An acupuncturist keeps you on pins and needles. 2.8 stars
69. A graveyard shift is a cemetery in an earthquake. 2.7 stars
70. Lifelong counterfeiters never make any real money. 3.7 stars
71. A rabbit's warren is a hare craft. 1.5 stars
72. Pigs flying is an example of swine flew. 3.9 stars
73. Merchants are sung by a mermaid choir. 1.7 stars
74. Feather dusters are used to clean parakeets. 1.7 stars
75. A drummer who became a policeman was pounding a beat. 3.1 stars
76. The life of a lens maker is a real grind. 3.0 stars
77. Circus dogs fly through the air with the greatest of fleas. 2.7 stars
78. A croquette is a flirtatious female frog. 2.8 stars
79. A chiropractor is a lumbar jack. 3.5 stars
80. Taxidermy is a job for stuffy people. 3.9 stars
81. A university is a city in outer space. 2.8 stars
82. Bringing home very little net pay is the sign of a good trapeze acrobat. 2.5 stars
83. Watchdogs are covered with ticks. 2.9 stars
84. Shirts are pressed for cash. 2.9 stars
85. A skunk breeder is a person of phew words. 3.6 stars
86. A harbor master is in charge of berth control. 3.3 stars
87. A cowbell is what you call a lovely Southern cow. 2.5 stars
88. When the dog swallowed a bell, his bark began pealing. 1.9 stars
89. Pay for irony is wry bread. 1.9 stars
90. Notary means insufficiently ventilated. 1.6 stars
91. A storyteller is a gossipy bank employee. 2.3 stars
92. The Ferris wheel inventor is the father of the ride. 1.9 stars
93. A seal has a ball at the circus. 2.7 stars
94. Oncology is the study of car horns. 1.7 stars
95. Lungs are a pair of windbags. 2.1 stars
96. Seamstress is caused by wearing tight clothing. 3.3 stars
97. An angry skunk reeks his vengeance. 3.6 stars
98. A red blood count is a communist vampire. 2.7 stars
99. Santa came down with the flue. 2.8 stars
100. Australian beer-brewers use kangaroo hops. 2.8 stars
101. Deciding what Christmas gifts to give makes one present tense. 3.0 stars
102. A contest between church choirs is the battle of the choral see. 2.3 stars
103. Driving while using a cell phone is veer-inspiring. 1.5 stars
104. Sainthood is a gangster who truly repented. 2.3 stars
105. An umbilical cord is a navel vessel. 3.2 stars
106. A golf course is a foreground. 2.5 stars
107. A dermatologist is a flesh man. 1.6 stars
108. Bookkeepers are problems for libraries. 3.1 stars
109. Labyrinths are amazing. 3.3 stars
110. Marie was curious about radium. 1.8 stars
111. Religious vultures prey for their food. 3.4 stars
112. High school grammar books are parse for the course. 2.2 stars
113. A butter is an angry goat. 2.5 stars
114. Bring about is what a boxing promoter does. 2.4 stars
115. Spoilsport is the harbor where booty is shipped in. 2.1 stars
116. A funny criminal is a silicon. 3.1 stars
117. A novice skier often jumps to contusions. 3.1 stars
118. Crosswords are what you hear when you distract someone working on a puzzle. 3.4 stars
119. A taxidermist specializes in skin for cabs. 1.7 stars
120. Attire goes on a wheel. 2.7 stars
121. When a female sheep turns around and goes the other way it makes a ewe turn. 3.9 stars
122. A synthesis is an essay about transgressions. 1.8 stars
123. Valentine's Day is pure cupidity. 2.4 stars
124. A TV repairman's job is to get set to work. 2.0 stars
125. To vulcanize is to become like Spock. 1.9 stars
126. You use a lumberjack when your tree is flat. 2.7 stars
127. Tire stores are highway rubbery. 3.0 stars
128. When the gastroenterologist retired, he threw in the bowel. 2.7 stars
129. Some Missouri home designers are Ozark-itects. 1.9 stars
130. A locksmith is a key employee. 3.7 stars
131. Labor contracts come just before childbirth. 2.6 stars
132. A sewer is a tailor. 1.6 stars
133. Lamp factories have light workloads. 3.6 stars
134. CPR is a near-breath experience. 3.0 stars
135. Accountant is a royal insect. 2.4 stars
136. A surgeon's comments are incisive remarks. 3.3 stars
137. Iamb a poet. 2.5 stars
138. Carrot is auto rust. 1.7 stars
139. Vampires use must use mouthwash because they have bat breath. 2.7 stars
140. Resale means to go yachting again. 1.9 stars
141. The purpose of the IT Service Department is to be a customer-server. 2.0 stars
142. Overworked physicists put too many ions in the fire. 3.3 stars
143. 'We've got the best marriage' is a hitching boast. 2.0 stars
144. Seesaw is how you find a woodcutter. 1.8 stars
145. Doctors send patients to pool halls to find remarkable cuers. 2.3 stars
146. A sports coat worn on a hike is a trailblazer. 3.8 stars
147. Sailing is like oil drilling because they're both crewed businesses. 3.0 stars
148. Ash Wednesday follows Volcanic Tuesday. 2.8 stars
149. A Valentine's Day card is a hearty note. 2.6 stars
150. Art theft is a haul of frames. 3.1 stars
151. Eating oysters can help you increase your mussel tone. 3.5 stars
152. A hurricane is a stick used to encourage speed. 2.7 stars
153. A ship's captain is a sails manager. 3.4 stars
154. Parking - an average sovereign. 2.3 stars
155. The third degree is a diploma for successful criminals. 2.9 stars
156. An egg pulls a cart with a yolk. 2.4 stars
157. A yak is the star of an animal talk show. 3.0 stars
158. A mosquito is the oldest known skin-diver. 3.0 stars
159. The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite. 3.5 stars
160. An avionics warning is a flier alarm. 2.7 stars
161. Digest is morbid humor. 1.8 stars
162. An embrace at a nudist colony is a bare hug. 3.4 stars
163. An instructor at an ice cream parlor is a sundae school teacher. 3.6 stars
164. People who listen to long political speeches are bulldozers. 3.3 stars
165. When the Aztec warrior was about to be punished severely, he was so sad he was disheartened. 2.8 stars
166. A weeknight is a tiny nobleman. 2.7 stars
167. Some doting parents are son worshipers. 2.8 stars
168. A summer is a mathematician. 2.4 stars
169. When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed. 2.8 stars
170. When a woman returns new clothing, that's post traumatic dress syndrome. 3.2 stars
171. A cannonball is a party for artillerymen. 3.2 stars
172. The land where movies are made is called reel estate. 3.1 stars
173. Surprises is the knight in charge of awards. 2.3 stars
174. 'Because' is a word to the whys. 3.6 stars
175. A no-fly zone prohibits zippers. 3.4 stars
176. Rental agents offer quarters for dollars. 3.5 stars
177. A harp that was shaved is a bare-faced lyre. 3.0 stars
178. A shotgun is an exhausted rifle. 2.6 stars
179. Historians have extra-century perception. 3.7 stars
180. Was Noel Coward afraid of traditional Christmas music? 2.9 stars
181. Cows make noise only when they're in the mood. 3.2 stars
182. Short-order cooks in busy restaurants call themselves 'pressure cookers'. 3.2 stars
183. The patient decided against an organ transplant. Instead, he changed his mind. 3.3 stars
184. When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted. 3.8 stars
185. A glide-path is a soar spot. 3.0 stars
186. A funeral ship is a sea hearse. 3.1 stars
187. The word 'ovine' means just like ewe. 2.9 stars
188. People who teach drivers' education are roads scholars. 3.3 stars
189. With Iowa crows swearing all over the places, the result was statewide caw cusses. 3.3 stars
190. The hoarfrost that forms on a daycare center's windows is called nursery rime. 3.0 stars
191. Dental care in Panama is called a route canal. 3.4 stars
192. The people who are predicting when all time will halt are known as endochronologists. 3.0 stars
193. The chiropractic author wrote a spinal column. 3.1 stars
194. When the church relocated it had an organ transplant. 3.6 stars
195. The place to trade dresses is called a frock exchange. 2.7 stars
196. A crow is a four-letter bird. 2.5 stars
197. Mathematicians are sum worshippers. 3.0 stars
198. A trick-or-treat route is a fright path. 2.3 stars
199. The fastest, most efficient way to make Halloween costumes is mask production. 3.0 stars
200. The cheap hotel was really a violin. 1.7 stars
201. Optometrists live long because they dilate. 3.8 stars