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Listing puns for RJS

1. The best mathematicians amongst the snake family: the adders. 2.9 stars
2. My hens are in cages stacked one above the other - that is why they are called layers. 2.9 stars
3. In the deli, I learnt the finer aspics of making jello salad. 2.3 stars
4. If paper could sing, would it sing in a quire? 3.0 stars
5. Having rumpled clothing is a pressing issue, but I am sure that I can iron out a solution. 3.6 stars
6. For me, the ringing of bells has appeal. 2.3 stars
7. In the Episcopalian church, erring canons cannot be defrocked - they can only be fired. 2.2 stars
8. The overweight painter could not lose weight despite years of exposure to thinners. 3.4 stars
9. I wanted to buy my wife some fancy soap, but she would not have a bar of it. 1.8 stars
10. On my chicken farm, I own the birds scratching around on the ground in the barn, but I am paying off the ones sitting on the roosts - they are on higher perches. 2.2 stars
11. I tried hard to get into vexillology, but, in the end, had to flag it away. 2.2 stars
12. Which illness are witches most prone to? Crone's disease. 2.5 stars
13. The cartoon animator felt imprisoned by his job. He could not free himself from his cel. 2.7 stars
14. How can you get a drywall plasterer to finish the job? They barely start and then they stop. 2.0 stars
15. The shoemaker did not deny his apprentice anything he needed. He gave his awl. 4.1 stars
16. The most popular operation for orthopaedic surgeons is upper-leg surgery: very hip. 3.1 stars
17. I was caught studying the periodic table in English class. It was an elementary mistake. 3.2 stars
18. I was in the linen trade, but gave it up. Too much toile. 2.7 stars
19. I got a nasty electric shock the other day, but I wasn't phased. 3.0 stars
20. I pricked my finger badly while trying to find a needle in my wife's sewing box. It was a crewel turn of events. 3.0 stars
21. Having my hair cut for free is the only fringe benefit I receive. 2.9 stars
22. I tried to get friendly with the archer's daughter, butt after he threatened to clout and nock me about, I decided to bow out. 2.3 stars
23. I saw a female deer in my rear-vision mirror. It was case of hind-sight. 2.9 stars
24. I took up teaching fencing as I wanted my students to get the point. 3.3 stars
25. During his lifetime, the composer Bach was a noted success. 3.2 stars
26. John Deere has just released its most powerful tractor yet. It is the torque of the town. 3.3 stars
27. My wife uses a kitchen implement to shred garlic and parmesan cheese, which I hate. It really is the grater of two evils. 3.3 stars