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Listing puns for Randy



1. I have a seamstress friend whose job is hanging by a thread yet she is able to keep her sense of humor. She is sew funny she always has me in stitches. 3.5 stars
2. I'm surprised I'm not musically inclined because as a child my attitude was so bad that I often got my bell rung and was told to sing a new tune. 2.8 stars
3. The serial killer was cut-throat in his business dealings and that's why he always made a killing. 2.3 stars
4. Whenever the boy found himself in hot water his temper would boil. 2.9 stars
5. The farmer who got arrested couldn't make bale so he asked his best friend to combine his money with his so he could be set free. 2.5 stars
6. When the car failed the inspection due to faulty stopping ability, the cars' owner said: 'Give me a break.' 3.7 stars
7. The police officer blamed his poor choice on arrested development but his superior told him that excuse was just a cop out. 3.2 stars
8. The flower that wilted was in desperate need of a stem cell transplant. 3.4 stars
9. When the ornithologist gave his neighbor the bird he went into flight mode. 2.2 stars
10. When the swimmer recovered from her stroke she decided to dive right into kicking her bad habits. 2.8 stars
11. The man shed a tear as he saw his old storage space come down. 2.0 stars
12. Any type of criticism would aggregate the builder including constructive criticism. 2.6 stars
13. When the golfer with a serious iron deficiency went back to the doctor for a check-up he was told that he was still not out of the woods. 3.1 stars
14. When the train conductor got unfairly railroaded by his boss, his life immediately began going down the wrong track. 3.7 stars
15. November: We start the month out stuffing ballots to elect some turkey, we end the month stuffing a turkey to increase our ballast. 3.1 stars
16. When the pharmacist found out her husband was having an affair it was a hard pill to swallow. 3.6 stars
17. As the farmer passed the gorgeous woman he did everything he could to a tractor attention. 3.7 stars
18. Even though the chef's girlfriend was grate in many ways. She had a temper that boiled easily, was half-baked and extremely kneady. 3.5 stars
19. Some cardinals got their feathers ruffled when the pope gave away the church's nest egg to the poor. 3.6 stars
20. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester. 4.1 stars
21. When asked what it takes to be a great cook the chef said that it boils down to beating the other chefs to the cutting edge recipes. 3.3 stars
22. The electrician worked hard to get in shape so he could perform with Circuit Soleil. 3.3 stars
23. While practicing the drums in the bassment, the boy fell, hit his head, and got a percussion. 3.6 stars
24. The circus performer pulled his trapezius muscles and now he is flying high on pain meds. 3.4 stars
25. There was an archeologist who made no bones about digging dirt up on people. 3.7 stars