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Listing puns for SGTSnorkel

1. I got a red card at the football match. I soccer punched an opponent. 2.6 stars
2. He is bald now, but he once had a proud heritage. 2.3 stars
3. When the new funeral parlor opened, the other undertakers faced stiff competition. 3.7 stars
4. All of the riders for the old west mail service had to be small. That’s why they called it the Puny Express. 1.8 stars
5. At the old sailor's garage sale, I bought a basketball hoop. It was the rim of the ancient mariner. 2.9 stars
6. When we learned literacy in elementary school, my teacher set up a metronome. We learned reading and writing to a rhythmic tick. 3.0 stars
7. He turned down a prison guard job to become a prize fighter. Later he moaned, 'I could have been a con tender.' 3.4 stars
8. I asked the doctor how my check-up went. All he said was, 'Get will soon.' 3.0 stars
9. I have been shopping for a trailer. Every time I think I have found a good one, there is a hitch. 3.4 stars
10. The meat market had a sale on mutton. It was real sheep. 2.9 stars
11. The cobbler's tools had a party. A good time was had by awl. 3.3 stars
12. How did Pavlov win a Nobel prize? 2.6 stars
13. When I lived on the coast I consulted the tide charts every day. I liked to keep up on current events. 3.8 stars
14. I love hot dogs. Does that make me a frankophile? 2.3 stars
15. After a day of pillaging, the Mongol ruler liked to relax with an ice cream Khan. 2.4 stars
16. Thor was arguing with the trickster god. He said, 'Now Loki here...'. 2.4 stars
17. I am itching to solve those math problems. I just need scratch paper. 3.2 stars
18. I don't think the quarterback should have faked the throw and started to run. It was a faux pass. 2.3 stars
19. Steinbeck considered writing a novel where Adam Trask became a baker. He was going to call it 'Yeast of Eden.' 2.6 stars
20. I thought becoming a real estate agent would be easy, but I had a lot to learn. 2.9 stars
21. I have a very old tire gauge. It is a family air-loom. 2.7 stars
22. I like all track and field events but I really get a charge out of the pole volt. 2.4 stars
23. If Prince William visits the Alps, is he on a scion vacation? 1.5 stars
24. I tried to sell the antique string instrument cause I needed the lute. 3.2 stars
25. If crop circles are real, does this mean that aliens have designs for our planet? 2.8 stars
26. The hair stylist was busy. She had a lot on her plait. 3.1 stars
27. My son asked me if I would leave him money after I died. I said, 'I probably will.' 3.1 stars
28. What did the narcotics agent say when he arrested the tailor? 'You're basted.' 1.7 stars