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Listing puns for Simon

1. My washing machine broke down this morning, but I didn't get too agitated. 3.1 stars
2. I wanted a car but I couldn't a Ford oneF. 2.8 stars
3. I can't remember ever getting nits as a kid, although I do have a lousy memory. 2.6 stars
4. Did you hear about my friend who hired out vampires and poison, and my other friend who ate children? Could say the first one was the lessor of two evils. 1.8 stars
5. Did you hear about the podiatrist who got his floor tiled? He got a bad case of degrout. 2.3 stars
6. No one knew who was attacking the castle until we learned it was the forces of Sir Nymbas of Cumulus, the legendary Dark and Stormy Knight. 2.9 stars